A Catholic Filipino Mother's Blog About Homeschooling Preschool

We have moved!

2010-11-07T14:52:00.000-08:00

To my dear readers and followers (yes, all TEN of you! :) hehehe), please take note that I've moved our homeschooling blog to http://teachermamatina.blogspot.com. This is for easier updating purposes (it's a long story, and not worth blogging about here! hahaha). Hope you enjoy our new "home"! :) I'll be writing about the 3rd Philippine Homeschool Conference there soon! :) Thanks for reading my blog! :)

Homeschool of Asia Pacific Orientation - Live and Online

2010-09-07T10:47:00.000-07:00

For all you parents out there who may be considering HOMESCHOOLING, here is a review based on an orientation we attended, conducted by one of the newest homeschool providers in the Philippines: Homeschool of Asia Pacific or HAP. Their website is at http://homeschoolofasiapacific.com.

It's a relatively new homeschool and hubby and I were able to attend the free orientation about a month ago at Eastwood Cybermall. The directress, Mrs. Bev Alarcon, and her husband have been homeschooling for about 3 years. At the live orientation, there were about 4 other couples present with us, and one single lady who was attending in her aunt's behalf. There was also a fellow Catholic mom (I'm not sure if the other parents there were all Catholics), Liza, who has been homeschooling her kids for EIGHT years, using the Catholic Heritage Curricula or CHC from the US. (You can read about Liza's homeschooling journey at their multiply site: http://hofach.multiply.com/).

Anyway, Mrs. Bev's live orientation was quite informative and there was time for question and answer afterwards. Prior to the orientation, each couple/person there (except us, she seemed to have overlooked us) had the chance to introduce themselves and share why they were considering homeschooling. A lot of the parents cited stress on their children as the main reason. Some even had their kids undergo psychiatric care because of the stress they got in school! Gosh, kids these days!

On our part, we came away from the orientation further affirmed of our conviction to homeschool. Although hubby and I did not decide to use HAP as our homeschool provider (I have emailed Mrs. Bev some questions that I preferred to ask her privately and am still waiting for her reply) at least we know that we have other options aside from Bo's Catholic Filipino Academy or CFA. Actually, Mrs. Bev had shared that they had previously homeschooled with CFA but found some regulations that were not agreeable with her and her hubby. As for us, we also went to CFA's office (about a week or two before we attended HAP's Orientation) to inquire about their curriculum. The next parents' orientation is scheduled for next school year, so we were advised to purchase the DVD of the orientation for P50.00. (I'll blog about it in a separate post). Anyway, we were also advised to enroll Tim next year, when he has already turned 4 (on October 10 this year).

Currently, hubby and I are still deciding on WHEN exactly to start and WHAT MATERIALS we will be using.

If you are interested to know more about homeschooling, specifically with Homeschool of Asia Pacific (HAP), you can check out this SlideShare Presentation that Mrs. Bev uploaded online (she is a web developer too, so the HAP website is VERY informative):

LATEST HAP ONLINE ORIENTATION

View more presentations from Bev Alarcon.

Homeschool Education Levels Well Above National Averages - U.s. - Catholic Online

2010-08-11T23:16:00.000-07:00

Last week I was able to talk to a fellow missionary mom who said that her husband was not too keen on homeschooling because he wanted his son to learn leadership skills, and how would he do that if he didn't have any classmates to lead? I told her that maybe he (and she) could read up more on all the online resources that actually support the "cause" of homeschooling especially those that feature great people in history who were actually homeschooled, like those listed below:

(Source: http://www.home4schoolgear.com/famoushomeschooler.html)

Inventors Alexander Graham Bell Thomas Edison Cyrus McCormick Orville Wright & Wilbur Wright			Artists Claude Monet Leonardo da Vinci Jamie Wyeth Andrew Wyeth John Singleton Copley
Presidents George Washington Thomas Jefferson John Quincy Adams James Madison William Henry Harrison John Tyler Abraham Lincoln Theordore Roosevelt Woodrow Wilson Franklin Delano Roosevelt			Composers Irving Berlin Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart Anton Bruckner Felix Mendelssohn Francis Poulenc
Scientists George Washington Carver Pierre Curie Albert Einstein Booker T. Washington Blaise Pascal

I also found this inspiring article that further cements the case for homeschoolers and trying hard homeschoolers like our family. :)

Homeschool Education Levels Well Above National Averages - U.s. - Catholic Online

Here's to homeschooling - the BEST education you can give your child! :)

The Month And A Half Or So In Review

2010-08-04T11:51:00.000-07:00

I was inspired by Mommy Michelle to update this blog when she started doing her "A Week In Review" posts. I realized that it's been more than a month since we've arrived in the Philippines (my gosh!) and more than 2 weeks since my last post here (I've been regularly updating my Truly Rich Mom blog though. Check it out at http://trulyrichmom.com :)

Anyway, a lot of things have happened to our missionary family in the past month and a half or so. One of the most significant things was Rysse's 1st birthday party which we celebrated with a Noah's Ark theme at a local swimming resort (small but NICE!). Remind me to post pics and tips on how to throw a Noah's Ark birthday party in a Philippine setting later on, ok?! The event turned out to be a reunion of sorts for extended family and close friends, a true celebration of God's faithfulness to Rysse and our family for the past year! :)

We have not been giving Tim any "lessons" as regularly as when we were in Timor Leste (which was usually at least once a day for about 30 minutes, three times a week). It's been a kind of "vacation" for him I guess. I didn't want to push anything on him considering he's already had a lot to adjust to (settling in, moving from my in-laws' place in Cubao to my parents' place in Cainta every other week, adjusting to not going with us all the time to the Home Office, etc etc). However, I'd like to think that Tim's homeschool preschool journey has been ongoing although not in the "subject matter" that most teachers think kids his age may need. By God's grace, Tim has "matured" and seems to have outgrown certain things that used to frustrate hubby and I:

1. He has learned to say "po", "please", "thank you", "sorry", and "excuse me" appropriately with less prompting from us.

2. He has gotten over his fear/aversion to:
(a) having his hair cut - he went to the barber shop willingly with his Lolo Rading and Papa, and even volunteered to go first! (What a pity, Papa was unprepared and didn't bring a camera so we have no proof! Anyone willing to donate an I-phone our way?! hahahaha. Anyway, Tim shows off his new haircut in the pic below, taken at Rysse's birthday party :) And yes, that's me, trying to sing karaoke! hahaha)

(b) having his fingernails and toenails cut while awake - I used to cut his nails when he was asleep because he absolutely refused to have them cut! Now he is more than willing to do so! (Although most of the time, he wants his Papa to do it, not me! Which means "Hurray!" for me! hahaha)
(c) having his ears cleaned - The same situations as his nails. But last week his Tita Gela cleaned his ears and got out a huge bit of ear wax, which has probably been growing in size since Tim was born! hahahaha.

3. He is less of a picky eater now, and knows basic table manners (elbows off the table, say "excuse me" when you're going to leave the table). He eats most of his meals with other family members now too! (Before he would eat separately, we'd usually feed him earlier to save time!)

4. He is getting better at sharing, taking turns, waiting for his turn (although he still has his melt-downs, especially at the end of the day when he's tired from playing).

5. He has picked up a few more Filipino words. Perhaps watching TV with his lolo and lola isn't such a bad thing after all. He learned what pula and puti mean by watching Sa Pula, Sa Puti with his Lolo Rading, hahaha. (Although, we have been more vigilant lately about what he's been watching. And make sure to watch with him as much as possible, so we can explain things when he asks about them. And PUT OUR FOOT DOWN when the programs are not for him i.e. get him out of the room as much as possible or ask for the channel to be changed).

6. He has been praying spontaneously a bit more often now (his morning and evening prayers with us don't count here). Especially with the recent typhoons and rains lashing down upon the Metro. (He's scared of thunder so he always says "Mama, let's pray to God to stop the storm. And no flooding. No thunder. etc") Oh, and just this evening, when we were saying our night prayers, he said "I wish Jesus could come here at Lolo Rading's house, and his angels too.. *pauses for a while* Oh.. and God too!" HI-LA-RIOUS and oh so heartwarming! :) Moments like these just make me ever so grateful to be his Teacher Mama!

7. He has learned that the "office" for Papa and Mama is no longer just outside our bedroom, as it used to be in our mission house/office in Timor Leste, but is now somewhere else. Which means that most of the time, he has to be left behind when Papa and/or Mama go to work. In the beginning, he HATED this and would throw tantrums. BUT he has learned to ADJUST, and now only protests occasionally. Thank YOU Lord. (Although I'm hoping our working arrangement will change SOON. Please po Papa Jesus!)

Anyway, so far, these are the things I believe Tim has learned DESPITE our lack of "formal learning". I still believe that life lessons are some of the MOST important things for him right now anyway, so I won't be pressured by all the comments like "He's turning 4 na? Shouldn't he be in school?" etc etc. :) HOMESCHOOLING PRESCHOOL is STILL the WAY to GO for US. :)

For all those who have been following our homeschooling journey, and have been HUGE sources of support and prayers, THANK YOU SO MUCH. May GOD bless us all. :)

P.S. I almost forgot. Hehe. By God's grace, we have never missed out on READING ALOUD to the kids every day. During our bedtime ritual, we read at least three books to Tim with Rysse occasionally listening intently alongside him (other times, she plays with the books or practices turning the pages). In connection to this, I JUST LOVE BOOKSALE BOOKSTORE! Secondhand books are the way to go! :) Love it love it love it! :) We must have bought, I don't know, like 20 plus new "old" books so far, mostly from Booksale. Hahaha. Thank YOU Lord for providing all these blessings! We heart You! :)

My baby can sign! (Your baby can sign too!)

2010-07-12T14:04:00.000-07:00

Our just-turned-one-year-old baby girl Rysse is my "newest" student! :) I admit that I have not been as "obsessed" with teaching Rysse as I was with Tim, wherein I tried my best to have a special "learning time" with him, even when he was still a toddler. For practical purposes, with Rysse, I have incorporated our "lessons" in our everyday routines, especially during our special "Mama and Rysse" bonding time, while Papa and Tim have theirs. :)

And so it was sheer joy for me when I discovered that Rysse now knows some of the basic baby signs, even if I have not been so consistent in teaching her. She now knows how to sign "milk", "more", "eat", "no", "yes", "go", and "poop." (Though it's funny sometimes her "poop" sign looks like her "milk" or "dede" sign! hahahaha). Anyway, I AM SO PROUD. And grateful to the LORD. :) How amazing kids can be! We just have to tap that potential in them! :)

All you Mamas out there, YOUR BABY CAN SIGN TOO! I didn't buy any expensive products or books but mostly got some signing tips from babycare books given during the baby shower held for Tim waaay back in 2006 (yes, Tim used to sign too! And he still remembers the signs I taught him up to this day!) and also from online sites such as http://www.babies-and-sign-language.com/ and http://www.fun-baby-games-online.com/free-baby-sign-language.html. Just google "free baby signs" and choose the site that's most appropriate for you!

We also found these DVDs helpful. Perhaps they can be of help to you too! :) Happy teaching and happy signing! :)

The Importance of Support For First-time Homeschoolers

2010-07-09T11:29:00.000-07:00

In my previous post, which was about 2 weeks ago, I lamented about the seeming lack of understanding and support for our decision to homeschool preschool Tim who will be turning 4 in October. Since then, a lot of things have happened, and I can only say that I am further convicted to homeschool Tim, at least during the preschool years (hubby and I are still discerning on what happens beyond preschool).

Three significant things happened that further emphasized the need to promote the cause of homeschooling among other less-informed people, and also stressed the importance of support for first-time homeschoolers, like ourselves, who could easily have given up on our decision to homeschool.

First, I was able to chat with two homeschooling mommies, Michelle and Josette. I have never met Michelle in person but chatting with her was like chatting with a friend from long ago. She gave some very inspiring and informative input about HSing, and I am really grateful that we met online. As for Josette, she was one of my "mentors" when I was a campus youth leader, and later on a mission volunteer for our Catholic community. She and her family moved to the US a long time ago and we had lost touch but thanks to Facebook, we got reconnected and started sharing homeschooling and mommy stories. It was truly divine intervention! Indeed, chatting with these two mommies made me feel less "alone" in this homeschooling journey! Thank You Lord!

Second, hubby and I were able to talk to our leaders in the community about our past mission, our current situation and hopes for the future, including our homeschooling plans. It was wonderful to know that our elders support us 100% in our decision and promised to pray for us and our plans. God is sooo good!

Third, we were also finally able to pay a visit to the Catholic Filipino Academy (CFA). This is a homeschool founded by none other than renowned Catholic lay preacher and evangelist Bo Sanchez. We were able to purchase a DVD of the Orientation they usually give to parents, and were assured by the person in charge that we are on the right track with Tim so far, and were in fact, recommended to start the formal Kindergarten curriculum for Tim next year. She even let me browse through the materials they had, and to my pride and joy, it seems that Tim is a bit advanced in some areas, based on their curriculum. Praise GOD for mission and the opportunities it gave me to spend time with Tim and teach him through our play sessions!

In all these, I can only say that God is slowly setting the path for our homeschooling journey. Although we have informally started homepreschooling Tim, it is good to know that there are others like us, journeying the same path. It is good to know that we are not alone. First, we have our Lord, who is guiding us every step of the way (except when we're stubborn and refuse to listen!). Then, we have family (my parents are totally supportive of our homepreschooling!) and friends, especially from community, who support us and pray for us. Yes, there are still people who think we're depriving Tim of a good education by not letting "real" teachers teach him, but at least now, I have less doubts and fears about doing this.

I am so blessed! We are so blessed! In fact, you could say we are TRULY RICH! Thank You Jesus!

P.S. By the way, I have a new blog: www.trulyrichmom.com. I haven't decided whether to keep this blog separately dedicated to our homeschooling journey, or just combine all posts at trulyrichmom. In the meantime, if you're following this blog, do take the time to visit me at trulyrichmom and follow me there too, just in case! :) Thanks! Godbless us all!

Challenges of Homeschooling In Our Homeland, the Philippines

2010-06-22T16:36:00.000-07:00

It has been a week since we arrived in the Philippines. I haven't been able to blog much (or go online much for that matter) as we've been staying at my in-laws' place since we've arrived and have only been using Smart Bro prepaid for our internet connection. It is kind of slow (ironically, our broadband connection in Dili was much better!) and so I found it kind of a hassle to blog. Also, I don't know why but it seems that when we're at my in-laws' place, I tend to crash earlier (usually when we put the kids to sleep) and sleep on until morning. (Usually when I fall asleep earlier in the evening, I wake up in the wee small hours of the morning, and then do some work or blog or FB). Perhaps it's the adjustment to life in Manila. Ironically here we do a lot of commuting (we had not just one but TWO mission vehicles in Timor!) and maybe that's why I am more tired at the end of the day. Especially since we bring the two kiddies along with us most everywhere we go. Well, I hope my body adjusts soon.

Speaking of adjusting, sleep routines and commuting and lack of internet time aren't the only things our family and I have been adapting to. I have been very vocal about our desire to homeschool our children, particularly Tim, our eldest who is turning 4 in October. this is partly why this blog was born actually. However, after only one week in the Philippines, this desire, no, CONVICTION, has already met with a lot of questions and semi-negative comments from people (who probably mean well but may not be totally informed about what homeschooling entails and results in). These include members of our own families and community and friends who of course are mostly concerned with the children's socialization / forming friendships with other kids. Personally, I don't blame these people for being concerned, but do feel a bit put off when they insist that regular schooling is THE only way to go. I for one firmly believe that each family and each child is unique, and homeschooling may be the call for some families (like ours) and regular schooling for others.

One of the things that homeschooling detractors don't realize is that homeschooled kids have so many options and opportunites for socialization. Even here in the Philippines! One of the homeschooling mom's blogs I've read actually describe her kid's "after-school" activities with Kids Ahoy, which is something that hubby and I plan to explore with Tim, if God-willing, we can afford it! The good thing is, Tim is eligible for CFA's homeschooling program only when he turns 4 and a half, which leaves us about 10 months to prepare financially, emotionally, logistically, and of course, spiritually for homeschooling.

Since we are at present fulltime lay missionaries (or in our community's terms, fulltime pastoral workers or FTPWs) dependent on monthly missionary allowances (or salaries in other words), we are currently exploring alternative means of earning extra income to meet the needs of our growing family. Needless to say we believe that God will provide, and this He does every day without fail! Indeed we are truly rich and blessed! I know that God will also provide for Tim's and Rysse's education, in His own time and way. Blessed be His name!

I also know that there will be more challenges, questions, detractors, negative comments ahead of us as we continue to explore, discern, re-discern and decide on how far we will go on this homeschooling journey. But I am not discouraged. I WILL NOT BE. Because I know that God is with us. And I also know that negative comments, questions, doubts and challenges to homeschooling usually come about due to a lack of deeper knowledge, understanding and acceptance of homeschooling. And so today I say, bring it on! Whatever happens, God will lead us and empower us, in ALL aspects of our lives! Yehey! May God be praised!

One Proud TeacherMama!

2010-06-13T10:45:00.000-07:00

We are now in Singapore (SG) staying with "family", i.e. friends who are part of our Catholic community. It's our first day here and we are really grateful for all God is blessing us with. One of which was this: our preschooler Tim actually let us go to a dinner meeting earlier today without him! IN FACT, he is the one who INSISTED that we leave him behind, with his "Kuya" (Big Brother in Tagalog) Elai, the teenage son of our host family. WE WERE TRULY SHOCKED!

They were swimming at the time we left them. I had all sorts of fears, doubts and worries about leaving Tim behind. But I need not have done so. Kuya Elai did an excellent job, even without adult supervision! (His parents, Dick and Elaine, deserve a BIG CONGRATULATIONS too on a job well done in raising a responsible, good-mannered, caring, God-fearing young man!) It was a BIG event for hubby and I, as all this time, we've been so used to Tim insisting that he go everywhere we went, even for prayer meetings and mission trips to far-flung places. He just let us go without any tears or tantrums. In fact, he didn't even want to come near me when I called him out of the pool to give him my reminders about behaving well and listening to his Kuya Elai. Aaaawww... my little boy is growing up SO FAST! Huhuhuhu. Needless to say, I AM ONE PROUD TEACHERMAMA! Though I fall short of being a good mom countless times, God always finds a way to assure hubby and I that as long as we do our best, He will do the rest! :)

Lessons From Our Timorese Family

2010-06-06T13:00:00.000-07:00

Earlier (or should I say yesterday) our community had a despedida (farewell) party in honor of our missionary family. It was supposed to be a surprise but we already knew about it since hubby was the one who suggested it to our co-missionary, Karen, in the first place. Of course, we didn't let on that we knew so as not to spoil it for the others, who came prepared with food galore and well-wishes and farewell gifts.

Needless to say, it was an afternoon that left me with swollen eyes and an overflowing heart. I couldn't help but let the tears flow when our brothers and sisters started saying their messages, especially our young mission volunteers and fulltime workers. They are the FUTURE of the community here, and in effect contribute to the future of the Church as well.

It was especially tear-jerking because most of the farewell messages were meant not just for hubby and I, but especially for our two children, who were both born here on mission in Timor Leste. Our community members here call them "their children," "their younger brother and sister" and yesterday's despedida was a testimony to God's amazing love, that unites us all as one family, no matter what race, color, language or nationality. What a beautiful lesson for us all.

We were also dressed up in traditional Timorese "tais", beautifully hand-woven with love by our lovely CFC women from Ermera. Even the kids had their own "tais".

I was crying so much when they started putting on the "tais." And also when they were giving their gifts for the kids. Our Timorese brethren here are much less fortunate than our own families back home, yet I could see the richness of their hearts as they bestowed their gifts and well-wishes upon our family. It taught me to be ever more grateful for what God has blessed us with, and firmed up my resolve to teach our kids to live lives that are pleasing to the Lord in the service of others.

Another lesson learned (or rather re-learned) is that being in community, one has the blessing of a positive, faith-filled support environment. And not just for yourself, but for your kids as well! What greater way for your child to develop his socialization skills than exposing him to community activities. Hubby and I were amazed just now because Tim was happily playing with his Timorese friends, despite him speaking only English and them speaking Tetun. Indeed, the language of play and laughter knows no boundaries!

But probably the most important lesson learned here was this: One should never limit the ways and means that our great God has to show us and affirm us that He alone has the BEST plans for us, He alone knows what we need and desire, and above all things, HE ALONE IS ENOUGH! Maromak deit to'o ona mai ami! God is enough for us! Obrigadu barak ba ami nia familia tomak iha Timor Leste! Thank you so much to our family in Timor Leste! We love you and will miss you dearly!

Here are more pics from our despedida. :) After all the well-wishes and giving of gifts, we were asked to give our own messages, and then were prayed over by the entire community. A cake-cutting and wine-pouring ceremony preceded the fellowship, the food was brought ala "potluck" by CFC from the different parishes. We were so blessed to have Fr. Alan and Fr. Ferdie, two very Charismatic and supportive priests with us all throughout the day (they had been there since the morning for the Vocations Forum and Closing Mass of the Singles for Christ conference).

Ba ami nia maun-alin doben sira iha Timor Leste - Ami nia mensajem ba ita boot sira husi Saun Paulo nia surat ba Sarani sira iha Efeso 5:29-30:
²⁹Ema ida la hirus nia isin lolon, maibe nia fo han no tau matan ba nia nudar Kristu tau matan ba Kreda. ³⁰Ita hotu Kristu nia isin lolon nia liman ain. ³¹
No moos:
¹⁹Koalia ba malu ho liafuan salmu nian, ho knananuk no dadolin santu nian, hodi hananu knananuk no salmu ba Na’i, hodi hahi Nia iha imi nia laran. ²⁰Iha Na’i Jesus Kristu nia naran, fo agradese ba Aman Maromak tamba buat hotu. ²¹Haraik an ba malu ba tamba imi hamtauk Kristu. (Efeso 5: 19-21)

What I Think About Susan Lemons' 4 R's of Homepreschooling

2010-06-01T11:31:00.000-07:00

The term homepreschooling is not mine to claim. I first heard about it when Susan Lemons commented on my Wordpress blog. I was astounded that a complete stranger actually took the time to comment on one of my posts, and after I had read Susan's blog, I was actually honored that she did. Her blogsite has given me lots of information and encouragement towards making the decision to homeschool preschool.

In this post, I want to comment on the 4 R's of Homepreschooling as described by Susan. These are described in details in the links below (so I will not describe them anymore but provide a brief summary about them):

Relationships
Susan encourages parents to help their children "grow strong, loving relationships—first with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and next within our families." I totally agree with this!

In our Catholic community, we encourage families to be rooted in Christ. I firmly believe in the concept that every home should be a domestic Church, and so we parents have a very important role to play. Especially the fathers, they become the "pastors" of the family. The mothers become the "light of the home" (among many other things!) I have my imperfections, believe me, TOO MANY for me to share here for now (count impatience, impulsiveness among them!), but I can say that I do my best to be the "light" in our home. It is a daily, sometimes seemingly losing, struggle, but with God and Mama Mary at my side, I know that I am doing the best that I can.

Routine
Susan recommends that every preschooler should have a regular daily routine to follow. She says: "A regular routine gives preschoolers security, and keeps them on an even keel emotionally." Being the mother of two young children, our preschooler Kuya (Tagalog for Big Brother) Tim and turning-one-year-old-next-month Rysse, I can testify to the fact that ESTABLISHING A ROUTINE is one of the keys to happier, healthier, and yes, even HOLIER, children. :) Of course, there are days when the routine isn't followed, and that is perfectly okay. (Though I do confess that I obsess about this sometimes! OC OC OC!) But overall, we are able to stick to a fairly routine daily life. (Though I don't know if this will still apply after next week, when we finally leave Timor Leste for a new mission in our beloved Philippines!)

Readiness
Quoting from Susan's quote:

“When we instruct children in academic subject, or in swimming, or gymnastics, or ballet, at too early an age, we miseducate them; we put them at risk for short term stress and long term personality damage for no useful purpose. There is no evidence that such early instruction has lasting benefits and considerable evidence that it can do lasting harm.”
-David Elkind, Mis education: Preschoolers at Risk

This is a great reminder to all parents everywhere, especially those with young children. Let us let our kids BE kids. Because before we know it, they will already be off to high school, hanging out with friends, preparing for college, looking for a job, getting married, having children of their own... LIFE IS SHORT. So let us enjoy it with our kids and let's let our kids enjoy themselves as well! They'll figure out this learning thing on their own and sometimes even shock us with how quickly they pick things up!

(Check out my photos here to see how Kuya Tim shocked the life out of me when he started writing his name, after I had asked one of his playmates to write her name. I knew she could because she'd been attending preschool/playgroup. Tim said "I can do that too!" Then I said, "No you can't. Mama hasn't taught you how yet." BUT then lo and behold, he starts writing the letter T all by himself! My mouth dropped open in disbelief and amazement! Thank You GOD!)

Reading Aloud
Here is what Susan Lemons has to say about this:

"One of the most important things you can do to help your preschooler learn is reading aloud to him. When you read aloud to your child, you are teaching language, vocabulary, speech, pre-reading skills, pre-writing skills, and more. Reading aloud also builds your child’s attention span, and of course, teaches him about the world." (More on Reading Aloud here.)

I myself grew up in a home where reading was encouraged. And I am deeply grateful to my parents for that. Although we were not read aloud to that much, the love of reading books, comics, magazines was instilled in us at a young age. Even before I read Susan's post about Reading Aloud, hubby and I had already been in the habit of reading aloud to the kids. It's always a fun, relaxing time for us all. Even 11-month old Rysse has her favorite books, one of which is "Baby's Peek-a-boo Book" from Sassy. She breaks out in smiles even before we turn the first page to read it.

Based on Susan's 4 R's, I'd say that overall, we're doing pretty okay with homepreschooling. Although it's been a long time since Tim has actually wanted to have some formal "learning" time, hubby and I can be assured that he (and Rysse too!) is learning through our everyday encounters (waking up time, prayertime, mealtimes, storytime, playtime, DVD time, helping with some of the chores time, etc etc).

Indeed it is a HUGE blessing to be a missionary family because our mission office is also our mission house. So we can have more time for the kids than most parents do. However, we will be leaving Timor Leste for home soon, and it will be a whole different situation. We will have to commute to and from the mission office in Manila. We will have less time for the kids. More traffic to deal with. Etc etc. I only pray that our desire to homepreschool the kids will become a reality somehow despite the new challenges. After all, with God all things are possible right?!

In the meantime, hubby and I will make the most of our remaining days on mission to spend time with the kids, our co-missionaries and our community members, whom we have come to call "family away from family." It will be a challenge to take the next step God is calling us to, but with faith in His plans for us and our family (claiming Jeremiah 1: 29-31 here!) we know His love will see us through! :)

With our CFC Timor Leste Missionary Family :)

We will miss you Timor Leste! Ami sei hanoin loos imi!

Parenting is Pro-Life :)

2010-05-21T13:37:00.000-07:00

I firmly believe in PRO-LIFE and everything else connected with it. My experiences with Human Life International, especially while here on mission, have been enriching, enlightening and empowering.

I have come to learn to respect and protect LIFE in all its forms.Being a parent of two adorable angels has further strengthened my conviction to be pro-life. It is not EASY, believe me. Parenting in itself is a skill, an art, a discipline, a mission. To be responsible for the lives of others, especially young children, is a daunting task.

But as with other things that come our way because of the will and grace of God (whether we believe in Him or not, or realize it or not!), to be a parent is a blessing more than a burden. Because in raising our kids, we get to participate in God's beautiful plan for mankind. In His hopes and dreams for a better world.

To be a parent means we get to witness God's miracle of life, every morning when our kids wake up.

How much more PRO-LIFE can one get?

Parenting is Pro-Life! :)

Be grateful to be where you are right now. God has a purpose for you, Dad/Mom! :)

Homeschooling is Pro-Life!

2010-05-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

(Timothy Alan S. Rodriguez, safe and sound in Mama's womb :)

I first felt the Holy Spirit's stirrings to homeschool when I attended our community's first major Pro-Life event way back in 2006. We had a speaker from Human Life International, Brian Clowes, and it was a truly inspiring, eye-opening event. Back then I was pregnant with our first child, who will be turning 4 in October. Hubby and I were so privileged to be part of the Pro-Life event/training back then (we were even chosen as models for one of the creative presentations!). Little did I know that Pro-Life and Homeschooling would eventually become two big passions in my life!

When Joseph Meaney of HLI came to Timor Leste in 2007 for our Family Life Conference, he spoke again about homeschooling and presented briefly the differences in kids who are homeschooled versus those who aren't. His presentation really made me (and hubby too!) start to seriously consider homeschooling as an option for our children.

The conviction to homeschool our kids continued to grow (perhaps God really planted it in our hearts) and was further strengthened when we heard about Bo Sanchez's homeschool catering specifically to Catholic Filipino parents like ourselves.

For my part, I have come to believe that homeschooling may not be God's will for some families, whom He may call to doing mission by sending their kids to public or private schools (even Catholic schools nowadays need a LOT of revival and renewal and are prime mission fields!). Indeed it is challenging and perhaps a bit frightening to even consider teaching one's children at home. "I'm not a qualified teacher!" "Will I have the discipline and time to do this?" "How can we afford to live on one salary?" "Will my kids be anti-social?" These questions are usually the first that come to mind when one starts thinking about homeschooling.

Thankfully, if one does enough research (thank You Lord for the internet!), one can get lots of answers to these questions, and also find encouragement and draw inspiration from countless homeschoolers who truly believe that teaching your kids at home is THE way to go!

As for our family, we are still in the process of making the final decision to homeschool (when to "officially" start i.e. with a structured curriculum, which curriculum to use, how to deal with the financial and practical aspects, etc etc). For the meantime, we just want to make the most of the time God has blessed us with, especially by having our kids on mission with us. This includes "homepreschooling" our kids.

To be Catholic in this day and age calls for a firm belief in defending our faith, our families, our homes. If I call myself Catholic, then I should be Pro-Life. I firmly believe that homeschooling is pro-life, and that the pro-life work should involve advocating homeschooling.

When we homeschool our kids, it is easier for us to pass down our Catholic faith and life to them. We also get to choose what influences them and in turn how they will live their lives as good Catholics and responsible citizens. We get to be there for them during the critical, crucial stages of their development in all aspects of their lives. We get to teach them about things that are not normally taught in schools, especially the lessons of life.

(3 and a half year old Tim, reading his "Bible" after seeing his Papa reading our daily Bible reflection guide. It was so CUTE and INSPIRING! He even told me "Mama, I'm reading about Jesus rising from the dead. Or you call it `Resurrection.' :) Note to self: Buy Tim his own kid's Bible when we get home to the Philippines! Hahaha)

Homeschooling is PRO-LIFE.

If you believe that God is calling you to homeschool, do not be afraid. There are many men and women, families out there who are doing the same thing. Because they are CONVICTED, not just convinced, to do so. Let's pray for one another that we will be able to act upon all that God is calling us to do, especially in the best interest of our children.

"As for me and my house, will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

(Our 2nd child, almost 11-month old Rysse, seems to enjoy praying the Rosary with us. The other night, she woke up at 2 a.m. and when I carried her, she saw the rosaries on our little altar in the bedroom, and kept pointing to them and smiling and babbling, so I gave her one to hold. She kept babbling, and it seemed as if she was reminding us to pray the Rosary, which we usually do every night, but that night we had overlooked it. Needless to say, we ended up praying early that morning, and Rysse went back to sleep soon after! Amazing God!)

Listed below are some books that may help you discover the richness of homeschooling :)

A Mother's Day To Remember, Thanks To Tim :)

2010-05-09T11:29:00.000-07:00

This Mother's Day, I brought some flowers to Mass with the intention of offering them for our greatest Mother of all, Mama Mary. Even before we got to the Church, my eldest, 3.5 y/o Tim, saw the flowers, took one bunch of them and handed them over to me, saying "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MAMA!" Aaawww.. And this despite my not having told him what the flowers were for. Then to our surprise, he turns and gives the second bunch of flowers to Karen, our single co-missionary here in Dili. "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, KAKA!" Tim said. Needless to say, both Kaka and I were so pleased with his thoughtfulness.

Later on, at Church, Tim saw the flowers and again handed them over to me. I said, "Thank you darling, but we'll give these to Mama Mary, over there, we'll put them on the altar." He replied, "No, but she's not talking. You keep them Mama." Hahaha. Oh well. :) I tried my best po, Mama Mary. Will keep trying to teach Tim to love and know you more, so he can love and know your Son Jesus more!

This evening, Tim said something else that brightened my day and made my heart melt. He was playing his usual "superhero/transformer/tra

in" games while I was giving him a bath, mostly pretending that he was so and so hero or transformer. While getting dry and changing into his pajamas, he suddenly asks me, "What's Papa's power Mama?"

To which I reply, "Umm... cooking?" Hahaha.

And then Tim says, "No. His power is staying with me. And loving me. Where is Papa anyway Mama? I need him." Aaaww. My heart melted right then and there! *Sniff sniff*

Thank You Lord for affirming me, us, that despite our everyday struggles and challenges to teach and discipline our kids, YOU are in control and assuring them of our LOVE, albeit imperfect and at times conditional. Thank You Lord, because just like Tim, we know and believe that Your "power" is "staying with us, and loving us." We love You po!

We love you Tim (and Rysse too, of course)!

Proud Papa with our first-born, Timothy Alan, a few days old :)

Being a mother is a mission in itself. :) If you want to learn more about your divine yet challenging role as a mom, or just read about MOTHERHOOD, the books below may be of help to you:

The Original TeacherMama

2010-05-08T09:37:00.000-07:00

Since it is Mother's Day, I thought I'd also post a tribute to my mother, "Little Therese," the original TeacherMama in my eyes. If not for her (and Papa of course), I would not be the woman/wife/mother/teacher/missionary that I am today.

(Pic taken about a month before I gave birth to Tim. Mama and I at the Dili Diocese Meeting on Family Life. Timor Leste was still considered to be in national crisis, Sept 2006)

Dearest Mama,

I will always treasure my childhood because you taught us to love God and one another by the example you showed us. Your patience and endurance taught us that with God all sufferings turn into joy.

I will always treasure my HS/college life because although these were my dark hypocritical years, you showed... me God's unconditional love & forgiveness.

I will always treasure my single missionary life because your support and prayers helped mold me to give my all for Him.

I will always treasure my first years as a missionary wife and mom because you were there at all times, esp. the births of TimRysse, a reminder of Mama Mary's committed motherly love.

I WILL ALWAYS TREASURE YOU PO MAMA. Happy Mother's Day po! I, we love you much! ♥

Mother's Day - May 9, 2010

Show your own mother how much you love and appreciate her! :) Here are a few gift options you may wish to consider:

Teach Your Preschooler Science with Winnie the Pooh :)

2010-05-08T09:17:00.000-07:00

Here in Timor Leste (or East Timor as others call it), books for children are by far hard to find. There are a few places we know that sell good quality children's books such as the little stand outside Landmark Supermarket, however they are quite expensive, especially for people like us who don't receive as big a salary as other foreigners here do.

However, hubby and I both believe that books are one of the best investments we could ever make for our family, especially good quality ones that our kids can learn from. Therefore, despite the costs, we try hard to put aside some extra money (our 3.5 son now understands what this term means, praise GOD!!! hehehe) so we can buy books that the kids can learn from.

Recently, hubby came home and surprised our little preschooler Tim with this set of books, "Winnie the Pooh's Thinking Spot."

At first I thought they were just a bunch of storybooks, but upon reading, both Tim and I discovered the wonderful world of preschool science concepts! The set that hubby got was probably brought over from Indonesia and contains 6 books. After discovering how useful the books are in introducing preschool science to Tim, I asked hubby to buy the second set (sets 1 and 2 altogether have 12 books then) the next time we had money to spare.

The books have become an integral part of Tim's (and Rysse's) expanding library and we have had lots of fun trying out a few of the suggested follow-up activities/experiments found on the last page of each book. Hubby and I are now taking turns at being Tim's science teacher, and enjoying too in the process!

I wanted to post pics of Tim's first science "experiment" but I was unable to take pictures. We did the experiment found on How Does Your Garden Grow Winnie the Pooh though modified a bit to make it easier. Sharing with you our first experiment with Tim:

"Growing Your Own Plants"

Teach your kids about non-living and living things (differences, what living things need to grow, etc etc)
Teach your kids how to care for nature
Teach your kids responsibility (they have to water their plants/garden or face the consequences)
Teach your kids basic Math concepts by encouraging them to measure their plants' growth
An alternative activity to watching TV/DVDs and/or playing computer games :)
Ensure a fun, educational way for parents and kids to bond

What you will need:

Empty plastic container, preferably shallow
Cotton OR old newspaper/used paper
Water
Mongo beans/seeds
A sunlit place (where the container will be placed)
Time and patience (as Rabbit always says! :)

1. Get any empty small plastic container. In our case, we used an old yoghurt container. However, I highly recommend using a container that is shallow, so that your child can measure the plant's growth and chart it with your help.

2. Get some cotton and put it in the container. As a cheaper, more environmentally-friendly alternative, you may also use torn-up old newspaper/used paper.

3. Soak the cotton/paper by pouring a little water onto it. Make sure that the cotton/paper is damp.

4. Drop the mongo beans (we used about 7-10) onto the wet cotton/paper.

5. Place the container in a well-lit, preferably sun-lit place.

6. Wait, and water regularly.

We were surprised that the mongo beans sprouted the very same day we planted them. Needless to say, Tim was ecstatic! Hubby and I were so proud of him! :) Every day, he would go out on the veranda, look at his "plants" and ask "Can I please water them?"

Unfortunately, the mongo sprouts got too tall for the yoghurt container we chose, and ended up "flip-flopping" because of that. Hubby told me to get rid of them as Tim didn't seem to be interested in them anymore, after the initial excitement (about 1 week afterwards) had worn off. So I put the plants in our neighbor's "manure heap." We thought Tim had forgotten about them but were surprised that after about 2 days, he went out on the veranda and started looking for his "plants." Uh-oh! Believe me, having to come up with a story/excuse for a 3.5 year old is quite challenging, but I got off easily because I promised Tim that we'd do more planting soon! This got him even more excited! :) His Lolo Mon, an avid gardener and horticulturist/agriculturist, would be soooo proud!

Here's to Disney Enterprises, Inc. for creating the Winnie the Pooh's Thinking Spot series! A TeacherMama highly-recommended tool for teaching your preschooler science the FUN way!

Love conquers all

2010-05-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

Earlier today, we had our regular prayer meeting for our small group (called a "household" in our community). Our main theme for the day was LOVE, and it was divine inspiration from Father A. The worship/prayer session before the sharing proper had almost everyone in tears, as God spoke personally to our hearts, each of us different yet united in love.

We were a mixture of single and married men and women, lay and religious. With different backgrounds and personalities. From different countries and cultures. With varying concerns and problems and sins and questions.

Yet united by ONE God. And His perfect LOVE.

What a grand reminder of how "now that You're near, everything is different, everything's so different Lord! I know I'm not the same, my life You've changed, I wanna be with You, I wanna be with You!" (Now That You're Near by Hillsong)

As husband and wife, with God's love and grace, we CAN choose to love unconditionally, despite our spouse's faults and failures.

As parents, married or single, with God's love and grace, we CAN be MORE loving and patient and kind and teach our kids to be the same.

As families, with God's love and grace, we CAN be a force of good change in the world today. Strong Christian families = Happy peaceful societies.

As workers, with God's love and grace, we CAN do MORE to serve others through our everyday tasks.You don't have to be a fulltime missionary to do mission. Bless the world through your talents, time and treasure.

Love conquers all people.

Choose to LOVE today. :)

Some resources that may be useful to you in your LOVING others:

The Newlywed Collection Fom the Focus on the Family, Love For a Lifetime Book, 3 Audio Tapes, Phamplet on Marriage Strengthening Resources & Lenox First Christmas Together Ornament

- The Ten Most Important Things You Need to Know About Homeschooling

2010-05-06T09:02:00.000-07:00

Taken from homeschoolph.multiply.com :)

- The Ten Most Important Things You Need to Know About Homeschooling

Real Love (Taken from an article written by Bo Sanchez)

2010-05-06T08:12:00.000-07:00

“Buy Rolex. $20 only.”

A moustached guy offered it to me while walking in a busy street.

Wow. Didn’t Rolex watches sell at $5000 each?

Because he thought I was interested, the man opened his jacket and displayed other designer watches—such as Patek Phillip, Cartier, and Omega. “Choose what you want. $20 only each.”

That was shocking. I knew some high-end Patek watches cost $200,000. So how in the world could this man be selling them for $20?

Too bad for the watch guy, I don’t use watches. Stopped using them 25 years ago. To know the time, I look at the sun. On a cloudy day, I look at someone else’s watch.

But my buddy bought a $20 Rolex. It was a steal, he said.

Hey, it looked like a Rolex. It worked like a Rolex. It felt like a Rolex. But it wasn’t a Rolex.

Five months later, my friend was sad because his watch broke down. I told him, “What did you expect?”

Let me use this to explain why we have problems in our relationships.

How To Do The Great Switcheroo

Why do so many marriages have problems today?

Because many couples built their marriage on a pirated version of Love, not Love.

The pirated version of Love is Infatuation.

There was a time when I thought Infatuation was only for pimple-faced teenyboppers. Not true. Old fogies like myself aren’t exempted.

Not that Infatuation is a bad thing. It’s totally normal. Infatuation only becomes a bad thing if a person thinks it was Love.

I repeat: Infatuation is like a pirated copy of Love.

Foolish people think the pirated copy is real. When it breaks down, they panic or get depressed. They realize it’s fake. And their whole world crumbles.

Wise people know Infatuation is a pirated copy. They enjoy it while it lasts, but they know it was brittle and wouldn’t last. So secretly, they also bought the genuine article. (Note: Pirated versions are given; Real versions are bought. I’ll explain later.) So when the pirated version breaks down, the wise person does the great switcheroo. He pulls out the real thing.

Today, I’ll tell you how to spot the genuine from the fake.

I’ll describe the real deal—and how it’s the only thing that can save your marriage. But not only your marriage, but every other relationship you have.

Oh yes, so many people have relationship problems with their parents, or children, or siblings, or friends—because they don’t know what Real Love is.

I’m going to explain to you that Real Love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts.

Let me explain how this great switcheroo works…

“Ngooorrrk!”

“Father, we want to get married.”

When the engaged couple went to the priest to schedule their wedding, their hearts were beating for each other. It was so loud, the priest could actually hear it. “Dubdub. Dubdub. Dubdub.”

But he’s seen this before. How sweet lovebirds end up almost killing each other a year after the wedding. So he warned them, “As you know, feelings of love won’t last.”

And the couple said, “We know Father.”

But at the back of their minds, they’re saying, “We know Father that feelings of love won’t last for everyone else. But not for us. How can this feeling be fake when it’s as strong as a roaring volcano? It is as clear as the noonday sun, as eternal as the waves of the sea, as beautiful as the stars in the night sky.”

After the wedding ceremony, they have their honeymoon.

On their first night, the new husband watches his bride asleep, the moonlight streaming from the bedroom window onto her lovely face. He gazes at her long eyelashes, her pinkish cheeks, her parted lips. All of a sudden, she snores.

“Ngooorrrk.”

What does he say?

“How cute.”

Six months later, it’s the same scene.

They’re at home. The guy sees his wife asleep, with the moonlight streaming from the window onto her face. All of a sudden, she snores.

“Ngooorrrk.”

What does he say?

“How gross.”

What happened? Infatuation, the pirated version of love, disappeared. Real Love must now kick in.

But only if he has it.

Let me give you another example.

From Gazing To Gossiping

How do you know if a couple in the restaurant are not married?

Easy.

If they’re physically close, touching each other, hand to hand, eye to eye, nose to nose, bad breath to bad breath—they’re not married.

Look underneath their table, and if their legs are intertwined and they’re playing footsies together, they’re not married.

If they don’t look at anything else but each other, they’re not married.

If nuclear bombs fall right beside them and they won’t even notice, they’re not married.

If a flash flood engulfs the entire restaurant and all the guy could say was, “Sweetheart, I love the color of
your eyes as it reflects the brownish floodwater around us,” you can bet your life, they’re not married.
And how do you know if a couple in a restaurant are married?

Easy.

If they’re seated far apart, so far a part, a six by six truck could pass in between them, they’re married.

If they look bored, they’re married.

If the whole night, all they do is talk about other people, they’re married. The wife whispers, “Don’t look at her, but the woman behind you is wearing fake eyelashes, fake jewellery, a fake Coach bag, fake anatomical parts, and a fake husband.” Being dense, the man turns around and asks, “Where? Where?”

Once upon a time, they had eyes only for one another.

Now, they barely look at each other.

What has happened? Infatuation, the pirated version of love, disappeared. Real Love must now kick in.

But only if they have it.

Spot The Difference

Let me now share five clear-as-daylight differences between Infatuation and Real Love:

1.    Infatuation doesn’t require a decision. It just happens. You see a girl and boom—your hormones kick in and you want her. You don’t know why. It’s her dress. It’s the way her hair falls on her shoulder. It’s her smile. It’s the way she bites her fingernail. That’s why I said that pirated versions are free. But Real Love doesn’t just happen; Real Love requires a decision. That’s why Scott Peck says Real Love can only start after one has “fallen out of love.”

2.    Infatuation, no matter what you do, lasts only for a season. You have these feelings of love swirling within you until something happens that breaks the spell. Maybe she’ll open her mouth. Maybe she’ll reveal her fangs. Maybe she’ll pick her nose. Maybe she’ll spend your money. Maybe she’ll introduce you to her mother. Maybe she gains 30 pounds. It could be anything. Infatuation can last for a few days or for a couple of years. But Real Love can last forever precisely because it’s a decision.

3.    Infatuation is directed towards a figment of your imagination. You’re not attracted to a real person. You’re attracted to a projection of that person from your own imagination. Like Infatuation itself, you’re in love with a fake. But Real Love is directed towards a real person. You now know her strengths and weaknesses, and have accepted it all.

4.    Infatuation is a spontaneous collapse of your boundaries. You get lost and you merge with the other. You’re enmeshed. You can’t survive without each other. But Real Love requires strengthening of both your boundaries; You actually don’t need each other, but you choose each other because you want to serve.

5. Infatuation is all about feelings. Dubdub. Dubdub. Dubdub. Cold palms, giddy spells, dazed looks, and feet on the clouds. But Real Love is about dirty hands. You don’t have to feelanything to love. Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Love is an action, not just a state. Let me repeat my message: I believe love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts. The essence of love isn’t feelings but service. Scott Peck says it so well—the opposite of love isn’t hatred; the opposite of love is laziness.

Your Physiology Affects Your Psychology

Here’s the thing.

I’ve found out that only mature people can love. Only mature people can do the great switcheroo when the pirated copy fails. They just pull out the genuine article.

Why? Only mature people have love within them.

Real Love has very little to do with the other person. A loving person can love because he is a loving person, not because the other person is lovable.

You may be asking me, “But Bo, is love dry? Isn’t there room for feelings?”

Of course, there is.

Here’s a secret mature people know in their hearts even if they don’t know it cognitively: Your physiology affects your psychology. Your feeling follows your action.

If we keep on doing acts of love, we increase our feelings of love. The more we “dirty our hands”, the more we find our “hearts beating” for the other.

To make this practical, let me share seven simple ways of dirtying your hands. They are (1) Help, (2) Prayer, (3) Presence, (4) Touch, (5) Words, (6) Gifts, and (7) Boundaries.

1. Help

Love means giving practical help.

If you’re a mother, I’m sure there are days when you wake up feeling blue and you don’t want to enter the kitchen. But fifteen minutes later, where are you? Cooking in the kitchen, because some little people will get hungry. You don’t feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That’s love.

If you’re a husband, I’m sure there are days when you go home tired from work. But you see your kids. And even if all you want to do is lie down on the couch, you decide to play with them. You don’t feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That’s love.

If you’re a child whose parents are older, I’m sure you want to help them. Sure, you’ve got your own problems now, but doesn’t stop you from serving them. You don’t feel like doing it. But you do it anyway. That’s love.

2. Prayer

Love means praying for your loved ones.

Perhaps your father was a horrible man. And you hate him. But you decide to pray for him.

Sooner or later, God will answer your prayer. God will change him, but He’ll change you first. Your father gets blessed, but you get blessed too. Ultimately, you become a more loving person.

You pray whether you feel like it or not.

That’s love.

3. Presence

Love means spending time together.

Not just being physically together, but also being emotionally together.

That could mean a father playing with his kids. Or a daughter visiting her aging parents. Or siblings going shopping together. Or friends laughing over pizza. Or a couple taking a walk.

There’ll be times when you won’t feel like bonding together.

But you do it anyway. That’s love.

4. Touch

Love means physical affection.

One day, a couple walking to work noticed a man passionately kissing a woman. “Why don’t you do that?” said the wife.

“Honey,” replied her husband, “I don’t even know that woman!”

People aren’t machines. They need to be touched. Holding hands, pats on the back, shoulder rubs, hugs, and kisses nourish and heal people more than you can possibly imagine.

Again, there’ll be days when you don’t want to kiss or hold hands or hug. But you do it anyway. That’s love.

5. Words

Love means verbal or written expressions.

When was the last time you told your husband, “Thank you for working so hard for our family”? When was the last time you told your wife, “Thank you for being a great mother to our kids”? When was the last time you told your mother, “Thanks for serving me all these years”? And when was the last time you actually said, “I love you”?

You might argue with me and say, “Bo, I don’t want to be a hypocrite. When I say it, I must feel it.”

Here’s my question: Are you just your emotions?

Or are you much more than your emotions? Are you also your spirit, your soul, your mind, your imagination, your will?

6. Gifts

Love means giving tokens—or symbols of love.

To you, your gift may mean nothing. But to another person, a small, inexpensive gift from you could mean the world.

7. Boundaries

Love means respecting the boundaries of the other.

Love means giving space to the other and letting the other person grow on her own. Love also means letting the other face her own responsibilities.

I like it when my wife goes out with her girlfriends each week. I like it when she takes up other interests. I like it when she grows and flourishes as an individual. I like it when she tells me, “Bo, I need some alone time. I’ll just go window shopping for awhile.” So I pray over her, “Lord, I claim in faith that she’ll be faithful to those words, that she will indeed go ‘window’ shopping only. Thank you, Lord, for this miracle!”

Love Is Service

I dedicate my last story to all those living away from their loved ones today—Overseas Filipino Workers, Migrants, etc.

Many years ago, I met Alice, a Filipina teacher in Brunei.

She was my host and took care of me while I was there. When I woke up early one morning, I noticed that she was on the phone. But she wasn’t speaking.

She explained that it was her beautiful ritual of love to her husband. Years ago, her husband suffered a stroke and he became paralyzed. So she went to Brunei to work for the family.

And what was this ritual of love? Alice would wake up at 4 in the morning to call her husband. (This was before the days of cell phones and text messages.) But because they could not afford long distance calls, they agreed that the husband was not to answer the phone.

Instead, the husband would allow the phone to ring.

And ring.

And ring.

He would allow the love of Alice, symbolized by the ringing, to fill their house and to fill his heart.

For 8 years straight, Alice did this beautiful ritual without fail.

Until he finally passed away.

That’s what love is.

Not like feelings that come and go.

Not like moods that are here today and gone tomorrow.

Love is simply done, day in and day out.

Because it’s eternal.

Constant.

Faithful.

It was Mother Teresa who said, “Service is a fruit of love”.

If you love, you will serve.

Go now, and like Mother Teresa, dirty your hands.

May your dreams come true,
Bo Sanchez

Books by Bo Sanchez you may be interested in: (Good reads all of them!)

Simplify: And Live the Good Life
Your Past Does Not Define Your Future

Of Roseola Infantum and Erythema Infectiousum

2010-05-04T09:20:00.000-07:00

If you're wondering what in the heck the title of this post means, then it's most likely that (a) you don't have any kids (b) your kids are all grown and you don't remember anything remotely resembling these names that have any connection with children or (c) your kids haven't come down with these illnesses.

I myself had no idea that such diseases existed until my own kids came down with them. Tim had his bout with roseola last year and initially we were scared that he had dengue or malaria (both common illnesses in Timor Leste). He had a high fever for a few days then had rashes come out all over his body. We were thinking of having his blood tested but then thanks to my Mom (the bestest ever!) who bought us this great resource (Caring for Your Baby and Young Child) and Dr. Bernard Valman's home guide for parents, another recommended resource for parents (I got this on sale at National Bookstore for less than 100 pesos last year), hubby and I were able to assess Tim's condition and decided to just call his pediatrician. True enough, since Tim's rashes appeared AFTER his fever had gone down, he was diagnosed with roseola infantum, a common childhood disease caused by a virus. It is self-limiting so after a few days of the non-itchy rash, Tim was back to normal.

You'd probably think that since we had had this experience before we would be less panicked about Rysse's developing roseola. But this was not the case. Last month, during Holy Week, on Holy Wednesday to be exact, Rysse started having a fever which did not go away for a few days. Needless to say, it was already Good Friday and all the clinics here were closed. I was so tempted to panic and bring her to the ER. BUT THEN, the fever disappeared and the rashes came out. A lightbulb went on in my head! AHA! It's roseola again! So we phoned her pedia again, got the diagnosis and rested easy, knowing that the viral infection would just run its course. You can tell that a lot of people have no idea what roseola is because when we brought Rysse with us for the Easter Triduum activities, everyone would ask "What's wrong with her?/Why does she have rashes? etc etc" When we would answer "Roseola," they'd get this "What's that?" look on their faces. Some asked outright "What is that?!" Eventually I got tired of explaining in detail and would just say "It's like a milder version of measles." :)

We thought that that would be the end of our encounter with childhood viral infections for the meantime, but lo and behold, not even after a month, Rysse comes down with a fever again, which lasted for no more than a day. The next day however, bright red rashes appeared on her cheeks in the early afternoon, giving her the appearance that she had been slapped. We thought that this was brought about by her attempts to scratch her head and face so we dismissed it. The cheek rashes disappeared but then she developed a rash (more like red raised spots) distributed on her neck, arms, legs and trunk. At first I thought it was due to the heat but when the rashes didn't go away, I looked it up again in our handy-dandy home guide. And lo and behold, her symptoms seemed to match those of erythema infectiousum, more commonly known as fifth disease, which is another common childhood viral infection.

(Rysse still joyful and cute even when she's sick)

Anyway, we brought her to the pedia and the diagnosis was confirmed. (Pic below shows the rashes, though not so clear, as I am photographically-challenged! haha)

It turns out that erythema, like its "cousin" roseola, is a mild illness and self-limiting too. As I write this post, Rysse is almost 100% recovered, thank God, and with the help of my new favorite natural miracle oil, virgin coconut oil, her rashes (including the really bad diaper/heat rash she developed on our last mission trip to Baucau) are almost completely gone.

This post goes out especially to all parents/caregivers of children out there who may not have had any experience with roseola (sixth illness) and erythema infectiosum (fifth illness). Actually to all parents/caregivers of children period. :) The most important tips I'd like to share are:

(a) When your child gets sick, DON'T PANIC (have to tell myself that a lot!).

(b) Take note of all signs and symptoms, when they started, etc etc

(c) Being well-informed is always a BONUS. If you can afford to, invest in childcare books such as those mentioned above. We usually buy ours at secondhand bookstores or at sales.

(d) Don't be afraid to call your pediatrician when your child is ill. If in doubt, it always pays to BE THE OBSESSIVE PARENT. (But please don't hound your pedia 24/7! A mistake I've made once before, which deserves a post of its own. hahaha.)

(e) Virgin coconut oil (VCO) is actually the real deal!!!! It has so many health benefits and is all-natural! Perfect for Baby's tender skin!

(f) Pray and have faith. (Again, note to self!!! Don't forget this!!! hahaha). God is bigger than all our problems and worries combined.

Happy Parenting everyone!

P.S. For Rysse's bad diaper rash, I religiously applied VCO, put a bit of zinc-medicated powder in her diaper, and applied a bit of drapolene cream after every diaper change. Also, I stopped using disposables and let her sit around butt-naked every now and then. :) After about a week, her rash is clearing up quite nicely! Thank You God! :)

Instant Craft/Activity Time With Tim :)

2010-05-02T10:06:00.000-07:00

The other day, Tim woke up from his nap, saying that he wanted to dress up like a butterfly (though stressing that he was a boy butterfly! haha), and that he wanted me to dress up like a squirrel. I told him we didn't have any butterfly wings for him, but then divine inspiration got hold of me and so I said "Let's make some!"

All we used were some materials I found here at home:

1. A used cardboard folder
2. Some paint
3. A pair of scissors (Tim knows now that he can only use these when an adult is around, praise GOD!)
4. A stapler

Here's the result of our instant craft time. Not exactly a masterpiece, but we both enjoyed, and Tim had a blast being a "butterboy"! (butterfly boy) LOL.
It only took us about 10 minutes to do this. I drew the outline of the wings, helped Tim cut them out, and let him decorate them with paint. Then we stapled the wings to some left-over folder paper. The "flap" at the top part can be folded down and then you just slip it into the back of one's shirt. VOILA! Instant butterfly wings!

Incidentally it's been raining a lot here lately and so one rainy day when Tim couldn't go out to play, I thought of doing something different. He was bugging me to let him watch TV so I decided to try one of these activities I saw in this book (365 TV-free Activities for Toddlers by Di Hodges) - COIN-CLEANING! Tim totally enjoyed it! (Though I did let him watch his educational DVDs for a while afterwards! Grrr... Oh well... At least I know he's learning SOMETHING from what he watches! At least I sincerely hope he does! *winks*)

Now I'm excited to try more activities from this great resource! (I got it cheap too, only 100 pesos!) Praise GOD! :)

Financial Breakdown of Raising a Child

2010-04-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

(A repost from www.stoutboys.blogspot.com. A MUST READ FOR ALL PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS! :) Blessings upon everyone!)

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140.00 for a middle income family. Talk about price shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition.

But $160,140.00 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into:

* $8,896.66 a year,
* $741.38 a month,
* $171.08 a week.
* A mere $24.24 a day!
* Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is; don't have children if you want to be 'rich.' Actually, it is just the opposite.

What do you get for your $160,140.00?

* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles and flying kites.
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140.00, you never have to grow up. You get to:

* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek,
* catch lightning bugs,
* never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to:

* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,
* watch Saturday morning cartoons,
* go to Disney movies, and
* wish on stars.

You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For a mere $24.24 a day, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:

* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the training wheels off a bike,
* removing a splinter,
* filling a wading pool,
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and
* coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat in history to witness the:

* First step,
* First word,
* First bra,
* First date,
* First time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!!!!!!!

Love & enjoy your children & grandchildren & great-grandchildren!!!!!!! It's the best investment you'll ever make!!!!!!!!!

(Our family enjoying one another ^_^)

Things My Homepreschooler Has Taught Me

2010-04-21T20:12:00.000-07:00

During a recent trip to the mountains of Baucau (which you can read about here), I discovered a few things that I usually take for granted, and was pleasantly reminded about them by my 3 and a half precious, more than a handsful, moody yet adorable little boy.

1. Always see the fun in the seemingly dull, boring, down moments of life.

We had arrived at Laga Parish and were waiting for our hosts to tell us where to put our bags etc (we ended up waiting for over an hour! Woohoo!). At first, Tim was grouchy and insisted that he didn't want to stay there, etc etc. But a few minutes later, he saw the open area inside the compound and the Uma Tradisional (Traditional House) and declared to us "I like it here! Yey!" and proceeded to run around, play and laugh to his heart's content.

Reminder for me: SEEK OUT THE FUN IN ALL SITUATIONS. Be like a little kid and laugh and play to your heart's content even when you're exhausted or down. It can do wonders for your soul.

2. Don't complain. ADAPT. God will see you through every situation.

It always amazes me how resilient children can be. Many times I underestimate how Kuya Tim will adapt to certain situations, especially when we're on mission trips. God's grace really shines through him when he feels at home in strange places, and while we adults are moaning and groaning over the heat and tiring roadtrip, he has no complaints whatsoever. He can even sleep soundly in the stifling heat.

Reminder for me: I HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMPLAIN. I am truly rich, greatly blessed, deeply loved. Despite what I may think, there are many others less fortunate than me, yet are happy and content with their lives. Praise God at all times and in all things!

3. Every day gives us opportunities to LEARN. The best lessons are those learned from LIVING.

During the road trips of our mission, we would sing songs, ask and answer questions, play games, pray. We'd have pit-stops to stretch our legs and take pictures. These simple but meaningful activities are learning opportunities for everyone, not just the kids. Though Tim had the most fun of all!

Reminder for me: NOT ALL LESSONS ARE LEARNED FROM A TEXTBOOK OR CURRICULUM. Let your homepreschooler learn through play. It's the most effective and fun way!

4. PRAY at ALL times. LIVE out your FAITH.

Whenever the road would get too bumpy and we'd all be bouncing up and down in the pick-up truck, Tim would make the sign of the Cross and say "Please God, don't make the road bumpy. Amen." Whenever we would pass by a Church (or what Tim would perceive to be a Church/Chapel) he'd make the sign of the Cross and remind us to the same.

Reminder for me: PRAYER IS ESSENTIAL. It keeps us rooted in LOVE.

Don't get me wrong, though. There were of course times when Tim had his tantrums and meltdowns and stubborn, difficult moments. But praise God as always for our homepreschooler, who despite all his faults (which are miniscule compared to his parents'!!!), is really a little angel sent from above!

We love you Kuya Tim!

Tips for YOU, the homepreschooling Mama, when you're on the go with your child:

1. Try to insert fun facts (about anything you can think of!) during your conversations on the road. You can point out things or objects that you pass by and talk about them.

For example: trees (that they are living things, they need sunlight and water to grow, etc), paddy fields (that's where rice comes from), animals (make a game out of it and ask your kid to name each animal and their young).

2. Make sure that you've packed enough snacks and drinks to keep your child satisfied and hydrated. Especially when you're in hot, hot places like Timor Leste (or the Philippines!) or elsewhere.

3. Let your homepreschooler choose two to three each of his/her favorite books and toys for the trip. Explain to him/her that he/she should not look for a book or toy that you've left behind at home. Letting your child choose gives him/her a sense of power and independence and helps boost his/her self-esteem. Don't forget to bring along a notebook and his/her crayons too!

4. Explain to your kid(s) beforehand where you'll be going and why. Although this is often met with protests and pleas to stay home, at least you'll be giving them the benefit of knowledge and will be preparing them to adapt to the new place/s you'll be going to.

5. Try to know beforehand where you'll be staying and what facilities are lacking (e.g. no running water, as in our case in Laga), what kind of food is usually served, etc etc. If your child is the picky eater type, bring along some food or snacks that are familiar to him/her.

6. Try to make every place where you stay "home" for your kid. If needed, bring along his security blanket or lovey or whatever else is familiar to him/her.

7. ARMED WITH YOUR FAITH, HAVE FUN and let him/her LEARN THROUGH PLAY at every place you go to!

A Tribute To The Single Parent

2010-04-21T19:51:00.000-07:00

Although this blog is mostly about marriage and parenting from the married couple's point of view, I do not want to exclude the extraordinary individuals out there who are raising their child/children by themselves, either forced to do so due to their circumstances, or by choice. This is not to say that I promote nor support women to go ahead and conceive children outside the Sacred Blessing of Matrimony, and neither do I promote divorce or separation among married couples, but of course, when the situation is already there, single parents still need all the support and prayers they can get!

So, to all the single parents out there, especially to the single MOTHERS that I personally know of, this one's FOR YOU!

How to be the Best Single Parent You Can
Taken from http://www.divorcewizards.com/Divorce-and-Single-Parenting.html

"Broken home." This is a derogatory label that causes much pain and misunderstanding. Too often, children living in single parent households have to contend with negative stereotypes and hurtful remarks made by Insensitive adults. Regardless of whether the single parent family exists as a result of divorce or death of the other parent, the child is clearly not responsible for the circumstances. However, it is the child who often pays the price: the child who has to write an essay because a parent cannot afford Back to School night, the child who has to sit on the bench because he/she misses practices while visiting the other parent, the child who comes home crying from school, sad when he doesn't know who to make a Father's Day card for because his father died. As adults - teachers, coaches, neighbors, family, and friends, we can change our attitude, be more sensitive and compassionate, and recognize that SINGLE PARENTS RAISE GOOD KIDS TOO!

It is difficult and challenging to be a parent today, and it is even more difficult to raise children alone. We as parents are often overwhelmed and lacking the parenting skills necessary to do a good job. But good solid parenting has less to do with the number of parents in the home and more to do with the quality of parenting. Whether the single parent household is headed by a mother, father, or a grandparent, raising children alone is an enormous task. Why should we care? Because the statistics tell us that most of us will live in, know of or be involved with a single parent family at some point.

Since 1970, the number of children living in a single parent family has doubled. In fact, statistics from 1992 indicate that single parent families represent 30% of U.S. households, while 25% represent two parent households. Based on current trends, there are predictions that upwards of 70% of children born since 1980 will spend some time living in a single parent home before their 18th birthday. These children are not doomed to failure. The following strategies are offered to the single parent who is determined to raise a good kid despite the myths of doom and gloom.

1. ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT

Adults and children do better when single parenthood is perceived as a viable option and not as a pathological situation. Start with a positive attitude and focus on the benefits of single parenting, such as less conflict and tension in the home. Many single parents treasure their newfound autonomy and independence and feel hopeful about the future.

2. YOU ARE THE BOSS

Establish firm, clear boundaries that leave no doubt that you are the boss In the home. Single parents (and two parent households) often make the mistake of allowing children to become equal partners or peers, and too many children are running the show. This loads to serious individual and family problems. Children need limits. Use consistent discipline that provides clear expectations and guidelines for behavior and rely on natural and logical consequences. Learn to say, "I love you enough to say NO to you.1' (My kids hate that one).

3. DEAL WITH OVERLOAD

The single parent frequently feels overwhelmed by the responsibility, tasks, and emotional overload associated with raising children alone. It is extremely important to manage time wisely and to ask for help when necessary. Assign children appropriate chores and tasks. Arrange car pools when possible, and ask other parents for help when needed. My children would not have been able to continue in club soccer were it not for the kindness of other parents providing rides to practices and games.

4. RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE ONE PERSON AND YOU ARE DOING THE BEST YOU CAN.

No matter how loving and competent you are, you are still only one person and you are doing a job most agree Is meant for two people. Do not allow your children to manipulate you by making you feel guilty about the situation. Remind children that you are a team and have to work together. Give yourself credit for a job well done. You may have to wait until your kids are grown before you get any credit from them. This is where a sense of humor comes in handy!

5. CREATE A STABLE, NURTURING HOME

Nurturing is a high priority, but children also crave stability and security. While this Is important for all children, it Is especially crucial for children who have suffered 8 loss of stability due to divorce or death of a parent. Children need to feel secure and protected, and it Is our Job as parents to create a nurturing environment where they can thrive. Your children need to hear how much you love them and how proud you are. Some children may require more affection and attention than others, so know your child, and take your cue from him/her.

6. ESTABLISH SCHEDULES AND PREDICTABLE ROUTINES

Part of creating stability and security in the home involves establishing predictable schedules and routines for your children. Of course, we must not be rigid and inflexible, because children need to learn that life is not always predictable. Find a healthy balance.

7. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

It is critical for your children's well being for you to take care of yourself. There are times when you feel like you need a break. Ask other single parents to trade babysitting or hire a mother's helper. Pay special attention to diet, exercise, stress management, and getting a good night's sleep. Learn relaxation, yoga, meditation, visualization, or whatever healthy coping skill allows you to relieve stress and tension. Take a walk, read a book, call a friend, take a nap (my personal favorite). A stressed out parent results in stressed out kids.

8. DEVELOP A RELIABLE SUPPORT SYSTEM

Develop a wide network of people who can provide you with emotional support, companionship, help in emergencies, child- care, reality checks, etc. Be selective and choose caring, reliable, trustworthy people who will be there for you In times of need. Single parents with healthy support systems usually feel better mentally and physically and demonstrate to their children that it is OK to ask for help. Support groups for single parents offer an excellent opportunity to socialize and share with others in similar circumstances.

9. DO NOT TREAT YOUR CHILD AS A PEER

Do not confide in your child as though he/she is your peer, regardless of how mature the child appears to be. This is a common mistake made unintentionally by many single parents who turn to their child for emotional support and don't realize they are hurting the child until after the tact. Allow children to be children, and find other adults for companionship and support.

10. HAVE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

Focus on success and not on failure. Set realistic goals as a family and work together to accomplish these goals. Decide what is important and prioritize accordingly. Have family meetings on a regular basis and allow children to have In put. Learn to effectively communicate and solve family problems together while still demonstrating that you are the boss. Give your kids credit and give yourself credit.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, depressed, anxious or stressed, get professional help. A competent therapist can help you find the light at the end of the tunnel. I know how difficult it is to be a single parent, because I raised my children alone for eight years. A great support system contributed to my ability to be a good parent and raise two good kids! You can too!!

SHELLEE DARNELL IS A IS A LICENSED MARRIAGE AND FAMILY THERAPIST IN PRIVATE PRACTICE IN IRVINE, CALIFORNIA. SHE HAS A MASTERS DEGREE IN EDUCATION FROM JOHNS HOPKINS UNIVERSITY AND A MASTERS DEGREE IN COUNSELING PSYCHOLOGY FROM PEPPERDINE UNIVERSITY.

Shellee Darnell, M.F.C.C.
20 Corporate Park, Suite 215
Irvine, California 92606
(949) 261 - 8299

REFRESH YOUR SPIRIT! Prayers for the Single Parent

by Fran Hopkins | More from this Blogger

06 Jan 2006 12:04 AM

Tonight I decided to surf the Web in search of something a little inspirational and spiritual for us single parents

. I found a number of comforting prayers that I thought I'd pass along to you.

*****

A Single Parent's Prayer

Lord, grant me

Time enough

to do all the chores, join in the games, help with the lessons, and say the night prayers, and still have a few moments left over for me.

Energy enough

to be bread-baker and breadwinner, knee-patcher and peacemaker, ballplayer and bill juggler.

Hands enough

to wipe away the tears, to reach out when I'm needed, to hug and to hold, to tickle and touch.

Heart enough

to share and to care, to listen and to understand, and to make a loving home for my family.

Author Unknown

*****

A Single Parent's Prayer

Lord,

Help me to be both Mother and Father to my children. Keep me healthy and strong on those days when I am weak. Remind me to love them in the same way that you have shown that special love for me.

Amen.

*****

Prayer of a Single Parent

Lord Jesus Christ my God, who carried Your own Holy Cross to Golgotha, grant me the strength, patience and wisdom to bear the burdens of parenthood.

Fulfill in me anything I may be lacking and grant that through our prayers and those of Your Holy Mother, our family may grow closer to You and a Life in Christ. Amen

*****

Prayer for Single Parents

Lord,

We pray that you will give strength, patience and wisdom to single parents trying to be both mother and father to their children, while at the same time facing up to their own needs.

Put into the hearts and minds of loving family, friends and neighbors the need to give support and help, to provide the benefits that are lacking.

*****

A prayer for a single parent

Lord, the Bible tells me that you are a "God of the fatherless and of the widow." While I am not a widow, I am a single parent. It comforts me that you take special note of my station in life and the challenges I face. You know the limitations I have and the difficulties I am faced with. Be my guardian and protector. Provide me with my daily bread. Open doors for me so I will be able to find meaningful and gainful employment. Watch over my child when I am not able to be with him/her. Soothe me when I am troubled. Take the burdens of my heart and make them your own. Give me rest from my fears. Help me to take time to read your word a few minutes every day. Help me also to find a good church home where your word is taught in its truth and purity. Support me and let your holy angels watch over us. I take refuge in your cross where you purchased the forgiveness of all of my sins. I trust in your unfailing love. Amen.

Tips for all parents :)

2010-04-19T23:46:00.000-07:00

Parenting

Taken from:
http://foryourmarriage.org/parenting-family/parenting/

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."

Raising a child can bring parents to the height of joy and the depths of despair. How can such an innocent, cuddly baby have the power to change our lives and provoke such emotional extremes? Because you love. You love your children and want the best for them. Their accomplishments bring you pride. Their hurts make your heart ache. Their mistakes bring you frustration and the temptation to rescue them.

Once you’ve met the basic family needs, often your child will benefit from your presence at home even if it means cutting back on work hours or taking a less stressful job.

So what prompts a couple to be willing to undertake the daunting and risky job of becoming a parent? For some it is just what they always expected to do. Isn’t that what life is about? You grow up, get married, and have children. For others, they just love babies (and hopefully young people in general). For many, it’s a gradual awareness that pulls you to expand this wonderful love you have for each other to create new human beings. You are mystified by the miracle of a new human sharing your DNA, your home, and your future. What will this new creation look like? What traits of each of you will he or she possess?

As momentous and all consuming as parenting a child can be, it may sound counterintuitive to suggest that the child does not come first in a married couple’s life- the marriage does.

Yes, a child usually takes more time out of your life for direct care. Yes, a child’s needs are often urgent and immediate and parents must sacrifice comfort, sleep, or plans to respond to the child first. But, the bottom line is that if the marriage is not working, it has a profound impact on any children born to it. If you can stay attentive to your marriage, the children will reap the benefits in time. As Fr. Theodore Hesburgh, former president of Notre Dame University, used to say, “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”

So what happens when children become a source of difficulty in a marriage? It could be a sick child that requires extra care borrowed from couple time and energy. It could be worries over your child’s path in life. It could be disagreements about ways to discipline your child. It could be many things and usually is. Following are some rules of thumb for the most common issues that parents face in raising children:

Balancing children’s needs vs spouse’s needs

It’s normal and necessary for parents to respond to their children’s urgent physical, emotional, and educational needs. This usually takes more hours of the day than time devoted to relating to your spouse. To keep your spouse a priority, however, family life educators recommend:

daily affirmations (words, hugs, kisses)
a weekly date
an annual get-away (without the children)

Some of these require getting a baby sitter (or having family or generous friends) but think of the cost as marriage insurance.

Dealing with worries about children

Worrying and fretting about your children come with the job and can prompt needed action. Some parents, however, “over worry” and become “helicopter parents,” hovering over their children. Remember, you are responsible for the process you use in raising your children- not the outcome. When all else fails (and hopefully before) turn it over to God.

Disciplining children

Even parents who have read all the books about childrearing, attend lectures, and love their children with all their hearts will at times differ on how to discipline their children in a specific instance. Ideally, parents will agree beforehand on standard consequences for misbehavior, but when one parent gives a discipline that the other thinks is inappropriate (too harsh or too lenient) it’s best for the second parent not to contradict the first. Mother and father should then discuss their differences privately. If the first parent agrees to change, that parent then goes back to the child and informs him or her of the change.

All reputable family life professionals agree that corporal punishment (spanking, hitting, etc.) is no longer acceptable as a way to discipline children. Society has learned better, safer, and more effective ways to discipline. Take a parenting class if you need help.

How much money does it take to raise a child?

More than you thought but less than stores would have you believe. Children can thrive without the latest fads, technology, and baby paraphernalia. Go for sturdy, safe, creative child purchases. Children need your presence more than your presents.

Balancing work and family

Although responsible parents obviously need an income, how much is enough? Once you’ve met the basic family needs, often your child will benefit from your presence at home even if it means cutting back on work hours or taking a less stressful job. If you’re missing more family dinners than you make in a week, that can be a warning sign to readjust your schedule and priorities.

For more information:

Family Matters – An online resource for married couples, parents, and leaders to support marriage and family life. Includes articles, resources, and activities on marriage, parenting, and spirituality plus over 200 archived Marriage Moments and Parenting Pointers. Couples and parents can subscribe to these free weekly e-mails or leaders can use them in newsletters, bulletins, and on websites.

Susan Vogt, Director
523 E. Southern Ave.
Covington, KY 41015
Phone: (859) 291-6197
E-mail: SusanVogt@fuse.net

At Home With Our Faith – A monthly newsletter and website for parents that provides ideas and resources to help pass on a living faith. Sponsored by the Claretians, publishers of “U.S. Catholic.”

Mary Lynn Hendrickson, Editor
205 W. Monroe St., Chicago, IL 60606-5033
Phone: 312-236-7782 Fax: 312-236-8207
E-Mail: homefaith@earthlink.net

Christian Family Movement – A national network of families, working at the grassroots level of daily, ordinary family life to support each other and reach out to others.

Jane and Paul Leingang, Executive Directors
P.O. Box 925, Evansville, IN 47706-0925
Phone: 812-962-5508 Fax: 812-962-5509
E-Mail: office@cfm.org

Family First – Aims to establish the family as a top priority in people’s lives by promoting principles for building marriages and raising children. Includes articles and resources on marriage, parenting and family life.

609 W. De Leon Street, Tampa, FL 33606
Phone: 813-222-8300

Parenting for Peace and Justice – A network of families and leaders working to make their own families more caring and to make our world a better place. Initiators of FAVAN (Families Against Violence Advocacy Network). Provides workshops, resources, and support.

Jim & Kathy McGinnis, Directors
475 East Lockwood Ave., St. Louis, MO 63119
Phone: 314-918-2630 Fax: 314-918-2643
E-Mail: ipj@ipj-ppj.org

Specialized websites:

Rainbows – Provides a bridge to emotional healing for children, adolescents and adults confronting death, divorce or other painful family transition.

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2100 Golf Rd. #370, Rolling Meadows, IL 60008-4231
Phone: 800-266-3206, 847-952-1770 Fax: 847-952-1774
E-Mail: info@rainbows.org

How Marriage Helps The Economy

2010-04-19T04:36:00.000-07:00

Looking for Long-Term Dividends? Try Marriage

By Tim Lanigan

Original source from:
http://foryourmarriage.org/looking-for-long-term-dividends-try-marriage/

"People who are married tend to save more and are more cautious in their spending."

One of the oldest axioms of married life is that two can live more cheaply than one. That may sound like stretching a point, but the facts at least support the notion that, for a variety of reasons, a married couple can stretch a dollar bill a lot farther than two people living on their own. Perhaps the axiom should be: two can live more cheaply as one.

The fact that two can live more cheaply as one is not only a good reason for so many mergers at the altar, but for so many mergers in the business world. Hard-nosed business people know that there are a lot of cost savings to be had in merging with similar businesses.

The same is true of marriage. And living in one residence rather than two is just one of the reasons. People who are married tend to save more, and they are more cautious in their spending (a young husband is a lot less likely to blow the family income on a fancy sports car if he has a budget-minded wife looking over his shoulder).

Married couples enjoy another economic benefit: specialization. When you’re married, you don’t have to “do it all.” People in marriage can specialize in doing what they do best, and let their spouses do the rest – assuming, of course, that the chores are divided fairly. And when one gets sick, the other is there to pick up the slack.

The term “economy” derives from the Greek word for household management. The toil and drudgery of managing the home itself has been relieved somewhat by modern machinery, but the need for skill in raising children, educating them, and preparing them for the challenge of having families of their own is just as compelling as it has been at any time in history. In fact, with the temptations facing children outside the home today, the need for skill in household management is perhaps greater than ever.

Family life helps the economy

Family life is good for the economy, not to mention for society. Despite the growth of big business firms, the family is still a great training ground for the kind of virtues that lead to successful careers. Family life teaches perseverance, cooperation, the ability to get along with others, and respect for authority – all virtues that are valued highly in any workplace.

Business people are gradually learning the importance of good family backgrounds. Graduate business schools try to teach ethics to their students, but have found that unless their students have developed a deep, internalized sense of ethics while growing up, they are unlikely to profit from an academic presentation of the subject.

In other words, ethical leaders are home-grown, and the values they take with them into the institutions of life are learned mostly by the advice and example of their parents and brothers and sisters.

Married men earn more

Married men are not only more ethical businessmen, they also earn more. According to The Case for Marriage, a book published in 2000, “husbands earn at least 10 percent more than single men do and perhaps as high as 40 percent more.” The authors, Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, cite another study which found that married men, age 55 to 64, earned 20 to 32 percent more than their non-married counterparts.

The earnings gap certainly seems understandable. Married men, even those whose wives work, have dependents to support, so they are more apt to search for jobs that pay well. The pay differential works both ways. Not only do men who need to make more search for jobs that pay more, but companies search for men whose need to earn more makes them more likely to stick to their jobs.

Single men have more freedom to jump from job to job in a search for the perfect career that will satisfy their need for greater meaning in their work. Married men, often the main breadwinners, find that supporting their families lends meaning to their work, and for that reason, are the more stable employees.

David Popenoe, co-director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, sees the same factors at work for men and women. As he put it in an interview with USAToday, married people “work harder, they advance further in their job, they save more money, and maybe invest more wisely. That’s because, one can speculate, they are now working for something larger than themselves. They are working for a family.”

The value of a durable marriage is seen even more clearly by those who split apart. Jay Zagorsky, a Ohio State University researcher, found that couples who divorce give up more than what one might expect to be half of everything they own: they actually lose roughly 75 percent of their personal net worth. The same results were found in a 2006 report by the Rutgers project: a 73 percent drop in wealth for those who divorced and didn’t remarry – and a 75 percent drop in wealth for those who never married.

Marriage is a long-term commitment. For those who are willing to make the commitment, and stick with it, marriage is an institution that will yield long-term dividends.

Preschool at Home: You Can Do It! (Susan Lemons)

2010-04-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

(Tim and KC, our neighbor having fun with puzzles :) and at the same time improving their problem-solving skills and fine motor skills :)

I had never heard of Susan Lemons and homepreschooling until she made a comment on one of my blogs, and believe me, I was surprised and honored that she actually took the time to make a comment! Reading her blogs has inspired me (and our whole family) to really pursue our dream of homeschooling our children, and has made me realize that during the past 3 and a half years of Tim's life, we have actually been "homepreschooling" him without our realizing it! What an amazing God we have, who unites us with those who are of one mind, one heart and one Spirit! :) Here I'd like to share with you one of Susan's posts in the hope that you too will be inspired and encouraged! :)

Preschool at Home: You Can do it!

Posted by homeschoolmentormom on February 26, 2010 (You can read the original post here.)

I often receive phone calls and emails from parents who are excited about homepreschooling. Many ask me how they should get started, or what curriculum they should use. The truth is, homepreschooling is not something parents suddenly “start”…every parent who has preschool-aged children is already homepreschooling! After all, you taught your children to talk, didn’t you? And who held your baby’s hands while he was learning to walk? You did, of course. You are already a teacher, and already the facilitator of your children’s natural growth and development.

Parents nowadays have been programmed to think that they cannot possibly teach their own children. The so called “experts” have encouraged them to think that they are not “qualified” or smart enough to homeschool—even at the preschool level! But parents needn’t worry that they are not “qualified” to teach their own preschoolers at home. But the truth is, you are the expert when it comes to your own children. No one knows and loves your children as you do. As a homepreschooling parent, you can assess your child’s interests and readiness, and then carefully move them ahead–without pushing them. No “preschool” can provide the amount of attention you can…and no “preschool” can individualize your child’s curriculum to fit your child’s own learning styles and interests as you can.

After all, it is God’s design that children be loved and raised by families, not institutions. Within a family, children grow strong, secure emotional attachments, which are vital to healthy personality development. Within a family, children are able to grow close relationships with people of all ages, including their own siblings. Within a family, children receive individualized attention, and children’s speech and vocabulary is enhanced by 50-100 times more individualized responses than they would receive in an institutional preschool (source: Moore’s Home Grown Kids.) Within a family, children’s character is molded, and their hearts are gently drawn to God.

Homepreschool doesn’t have to be hard or expensive. The best thing you can provide for your preschooler is your time and attention. Your children will never need anything or anyone as much as they need you! Most of what your children need to learn can be taught simply though good parenting.

Here are some simple, developmentally appropriate things that all parents can do to help their children learn. Good parents do these things instinctively, but it is always good to be reminded about them:

1. Provide your child with a stimulating home environment, rich in books, music, and open-ended play activities that grow with your child as he does: Play dough, blocks, cars, dolls, puzzles and so on. As your child gets older, have art materials available for your child to use anytime: Paper, crayons, felt-tipped pens, scissors and glue.

(Picture below shows Tim doing some tabletop art activities :)

2. Give your children lots of free time for creative play. Play is greatly under-valued in our society. Through play children release stress, get exercise, get a handle on their emotions, and learn skills vital to their academic growth. Give your children time to play outside every day, weather permitting. If you can, provide a swing set, tricycle, balls and other outside toys; pets to love and care for, gardens to tend, and so on. Inside play should play should be “creative” or “dramatic” play.

(Picture shows Tim and "Teacher Papa" having fun during outside playtime i.e. P.E. lessons! :)

3. Have your children work alongside you. Children need to learn to work with cheerful attitudes. Working is almost like play to the young child; they are practicing/pretending about their future adult roles. Teach them how to work while they are young and willing. Working together should be a bonding experience for you and your child, and an important learning experience for your preschooler.

(Below, Tim and "Teacher Kaka," our dear friend, sister, co-missionary and housemate, have fun baking up a storm, and at the same time practice some basic preschool Science skills such as measuring, mixing, etc.)

4. Try to make all “learning” fun at first. As much as possible, let all “academic” learning take the form of games and play. If your child resists, back off for a while. It is much easier on both of you to wait for readiness and teach something in ten minutes than it is to spend ten hours (or days!) trying to teach the same skill before your child is developmentally ready.

(9 month old Rysse has fun "learning" to be a doctor. :) Thank you to Kuya Tim who loves sharing his toys with his little sister!)

5. Read, sing and talk, then read, sing and talk some more!! Help your child grow his vocabulary and base of knowledge about the world through conversation, lots of reading aloud, and singing together. This is the true heart of homepreschooling.

(One of our favorite book storage tools: a hanging book organizer c/o ever-loving Lola Alice :) Tim is old enough and big enough to choose his own books and get them himself :)

6. Provide your child with the opportunity to succeed by giving plenty of practice with new skills and concepts learned–through repetition. We may become tired of hearing favorite books or songs over and over, or practicing jumping off the steps over and over–but preschoolers don’t! Repetition strengthens and reinforces learning.

7. Limit passive entertainment. Even “educational” television or computer games can’t match interaction with real people or real objects when it comes to learning. Most children spend more time watching television or playing computer games than they spend sleeping—much less playing! Too much passive entertainment can be harmful to young children’s development. Commonly observed effects of too much television or computer time include over-stimulation, shortened attention span, and a reduction in active playtime. Don’t let the television replace real life experiences, play, reading aloud and conversations in the life of your family.

(Tim playing with his toy tools and pretending to be "Handy Manny," [complete with matching cap!] one of his current favorite educational TV shows found on Playhouse Disney. He's only allowed to watch 2 hours of TV - purely educational DVDs - a day, but there are times when he goes overboard! :( Trying my best to limit him consistently.)

8. Introduce your child to the best in art, literature and music. Art and music are more than just “extras” your child can do without; they are vital to healthy, normal, early childhood development. Enjoying literature of all kinds with your children lays the foundation for literacy. (Several chapters of Homepreschooling and Beyond, are devoted to these topics.)

9. Explore the real world together. Visit the grocery store: Purchase new foods to try, and talk about where they are grown/how they are made. Visit your local state and National Parks; explore the streams, mountains and beaches, taking time to wade in the streams, toss rocks in the water, and look for wildlife. Visit your local fire station, police station, train station, and airport. Plant a garden in your own backyard. Work, play and experiment together, and talk about everything you do.

10. Remember that your children are learning all the time, whether you are aware of it or not. Homepreschooling parents simply take advantage of this fact, and choose to embrace a lifestyle of learning–consciously deciding to take advantage of those “teachable” moments. Life itself is the very best curriculum for preschoolers.

You can provide everything your children need for early learning. Your children will never need anyone or anything more than they need you. Let them have the love, time, and attention of their own parents. That’s all they really need.

*This is a compilation of excerpts from: Homepreschooling and Beyond: A Comprehensive Guide to Early Home Education, by Susan Lemons. (Used with permission.) Much of the material in this book was originally printed in Home School Enrichment Magazine, and is re-used with permission. To read the complete article, What Your Preschooler Really Needs, click on the tab, “my articles.”

The Best Teacher is Forever

2010-04-13T07:43:00.000-07:00

Why homeschool preschool? Part 1

The Best Teacher is Forever

By Contributing Mama Writer: Barbara Curtis

Barbara is a seasoned homeschooling mommy of 12 (yes, twelve blessings), now a grandmother of ten, and a happily married wife. Barbara is a "revert", she was baptized Catholic then Evangelical for many years and has come back to our beautiful Faith! Barbara and her family are a " Family-First kind of family."

It's that time of year when some of you may be wondering about preschool. There's so much cultural hype and social pressure - with many states actually considering mandatory preschool - that even moms who love having their kids at home wonder if they're doing the right thing.

Mothers who could be encouraged to find fulfillment in a very fulfilling calling - after all, isn't that why people go into teaching?- are instead made to feel inadequate and second-best. It's disappointing to see a nation denigrate the role of motherhood and to see individual mothers lose confidence in themselves.

Helping to restore that confidence is what my writing is all about. I believe in the power of mothers to launch their children into a lifetime love of learning - as well as good character and strong values. By translating practices from my Montessori teacher training into a philosophy along with specific strategies and activities for the home, I hope to encourage, equip and empower moms so you never feel that you "have" to send your children to preschool for them to have the best.

Believe me, the best is you - especially when you understand a few basic principles that will revolutionize your motherhood and help you find the joy in each day with your children.

Over the next four days, I'm going to run four parts from my book Mommy, Teach Me!: Preparing Your Preschool Child for a Lifetime of Learning. Taken from an introductory chapter "Why Your Preschooler Can Thrive at Home," these show why learning at home in the preschool years is the best choice of all:

The Best Teacher is Forever
For several years, we've enjoyed the special gift of a family of sparrows each spring. In spite of the hustle and bustle and comings and goings of our larger-than-life family, two birds have prepared to welcome the next generation by building a nest right over a lamppost hanging from our garage.

The cycle is fascinating as the eggs are laid and hatched and then Mama and Papa Bird feed their babies until they're strong enough to fly. The process almost seems over before it's begun.

And that's true throughout the animal kingdom, as relatively little time is required for babies to reach adulthood. Animals are born with drives which compel them toward the behavior appropriate to their species: how to hide from enemies, build nests, protect, feed, and care for their young, finally to teach them to run or to fly.

Compare human infants, who take almost a year to walk independently to horses that walk and run within minutes of birth. In the world of animals, the young are helpless for only the briefest period and their own development is governed by instinct. All their instinctual behaviors would be released even if they were kept in a solitary condition.

Not so with humans. We don't have many instincts. We have potentials which can only be released if certain requirements are met within our environment. Unlike animals, human infants are completely dependent on their parents for many, many years.

Could it be that God had a plan in mind?

I believe so. Throughout centuries and over a wide range of cultures, parents have been their children's primary teachers in the early years and sometimes longer. Which leads me to believe that since every child has the potential to learn, every parent has the potential to teach.

If this sounds like a radical idea today, it's only because we've established a very compartmentalized model of education which includes the idea that only professionals truly know how to teach.

On the contrary, I believe that any parent with a desire to teach can learn to do it and do it well. So while the not-so-new "news" that the first six years hold the greatest learning potential may cause some parents to send their kids to preschool, there is another, far better alternative - and that is to learn how to be a good teacher yourself.

Just as we moms learned how to care for and feed our babies, we can learn how to care for and feed the developmental needs of our young children. Once you know these "secrets" you will be confident that you are the best teacher your child will ever have.

Because you are, you know. You are the one God created to be fully tuned into your children, to understand their strengths and weaknesses, to love them unconditionally and to be there forever.

No preschool teacher can lay claim to that. A preschool teacher will have numerous other kids to concern herself with. Her time with your child is limited to a certain number of hours per day - how deeply can she understand each individual then? And when the preschool years are over, your child will have to say goodbye and move on. All that part of your child's life invested in relationship with another temporary stand-in for you.

Many readers of my blog have asked me about preschool. The bottom line for me - as a former teacher who enjoyed the adoration of numerous preschoolers year after year - is this: Why send your child off to fall in love with his teacher when he can learn at home and continue focusing his love and building his trust in you?

The longer the time you share and the greater your investment in these years, the stronger the bond will be when your children are grown. Take it from a 36-year veteran mother who's launched half her children into adulthood: In a world where teens are facing such great challenges , this bond can make a world of difference in your child's future.

Notes on the pictures: As I was writing Mommy, Teach Me! and Mommy, Teach Me to Read! I asked readers who'd used my ideas to submit pictures for the books. The picture below is from Aggie, who'd read my very first book Small Beginnings when it was published in 1997 and had incorporated many of my ideas into her three daughters' preschool years. Here she is, showing her daughter an exercise I described in both Small Beginnings and Mommy, Teach Me! which encourages order, eye-hand coordination, pincer grasp, and concentration.

And here is her daughter, showing the results of her mom's efforts:

For more information, see my website Mommy, Teach Me! or click on Categories, then Montessori, Preschoolers or Homeschool above. Come back tomorrow for Part Two.

Love,

I've been following Barbara's blog for the past couple of weeks and she has brought some perspective to my homeschooling journey. It has been a breath of fresh air for me in moments when I felt so overwhelmed with decisions for my children. To quote her, "that's what readers can look for from me - something simple, something real, and something with hope in it." For more neat ideas by this Blogging Mama, please visit her Homeschooling journey: Mommy Life.

You can read the original blog/article here:
http://raisinglittlesaints.blogspot.com/2009/07/why-homeschool-preschool-part-1.html

The Birth of Teacher Mama

2010-04-11T19:40:00.001-07:00

A lot of people used to ask us where our now 3 and a half year old son, Tim, goes to school. I remember he was still just 2 years old when friends and acquaintances, upon observing him or hearing him speak, would inquire "Saan siya nagaaral? Ilan taon na ba siya? 4?" (Where does he go to school? How old is he? 4?)

To which hubby and I would reply, "Hindi pa siya nagiskul. 2 years old pa lang siya eh." ("He doesn't go to school yet. He's only 2 years old.")

People would be surprised and say how they thought that Tim was already in school, because he could speak English fluently (for a 2 year old) and was usually the precocious, well-behaved kid at social gatherings. (Well, nowadays, he's not THAT behaved anymore. Oh Terrible Threes?!! When shalt this period end? Hahaha)

Little did we realize that we were already homepreschooling Tim, long before we even knew that there is such a term as homepreschooling (Thanks to Susan Lemons, who helped me learn about the term and so much more when she commented on my blog).

Last year, when Tim was about 2 and a half, hubby and I started talking about whether to enroll him in a playgroup or preschool of sorts, to expose him to a "formal" learning setting and improve his socialization skills, in preparation for actual school. Many of the kids of our fellow Filipinos here in Dili who were Tim's age were already attending playgroup at Dili International School or elsewhere, and at times I personally felt that Tim was "left behind" in terms of schooling.

That all changed when last year, we tried to get Tim to sit in one of the nursery classes at the Dili Education and Development Center, a newly established Filipino International School, right in our very own compound (just a stone's throw away from our house/office). I had previously inquired about enrolling Tim since he seemed to start showing interest in going to school and learning, and the director had given me permission to let him sit in for a week before making a final decision. At that time Tim was still below the minimum age requirement (3 years old) for their nursery class. Below is a brief narrative of how that sit-in class went. (Mama and little sister Rysse, at that time about 2 months old, sat in as well.)

Teacher B. greets the whole class and invites everyone to stand up and sing along with her before the lesson proper. Tim, a bit shy, observes from the side of the classroom.

Teacher B. invites him to move nearer to the front of the classroom and stand beside her. Tim stands but does not seem interested in singing along while Teacher B. starts to sing "I'm A Little Teapot." (Neither do most of the other kids, who are busy either playing their own little games or doing their own thing - SO CUTE!)

To my surprise (and I guess Teacher B. and the other bantays (caregivers) there were surprised too) in the middle of Teacher B.'s singing, Tim raises his hand and says "My turn!" And proceeds to sing "Old McDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O.."

Laughingly I tell him "Tim, please wait your turn. It's Teacher B's turn now."

Tim stops singing and Teacher B. proceeds until she's finished with the Teapot song. She then turns to Tim and says, "Ok Tim, it's your turn now."

I am so proud and whisper a prayer of thanksgiving when Tim starts singing "Old McDonald." After a few lines, he says to Teacher B. "Ok, it's your turn now."

"Thank you, Tim." And she starts to sing "Sit Down, Sit Down.. You're rocking the boat.."

Tim interrupts, "No, no, no. You sing Old McDonald."

At this, I crack up. And then tell Tim, "Let Teacher B. sing what she wants to sing."

Tim does so. And then the "real" lesson starts. It is about the different people in the family and the roles they play.

While Teacher B. asks the children questions, and tries to coax answers out of them, I observe Tim. He doesn't seem to be listening and is busy lining up his crayons on the table (something he just LOVES to do, he's been doing this ever since toddlerhood!). He tries to answer every now and then but seems to be having difficulty.

I tell him I have to go and nurse Baby Rysse and that I'll come back for him in a little while. He lets me go, probably secure in the knowledge that the house is just nearby.

I go home and nurse Rysse and put her to sleep. It takes me about 10-15 minutes. I am about to go back to the school when I see Tim walking to the house with one of the nannies from the school.

"I'm finished with school po Mama," he says. And proceeds inside and starts playing with his toy trains.

After that day, I tried again several times to get Tim to sit in and stay inside the nursery classroom. Then I would try going home to see if he could stay on his own. But every time he would go home before the time he was supposed to.

Until it came to the point where I just stopped trying. This is about the same time when Tim, upon being asked where he goes to school, would usually gesture around him (at home) and say "This is our school, this is my school po." (Usually, he'd do this in our room, which has this hanging book"pouch" on the wall, courtesy of Lola Alice).

After which, the next question would be: "Then who's your teacher?"

"You, Mama." Then he would continue, "Come on, Teacher Mama. Let's learn."

At the beginning I would respond by asking him "Don't you want to go to school in front? With Teacher B. and all your new friends..?" (Then I'd enumerate their names one by one.)

To which he'd usually reply, "No po. THIS is our school. Here, our home."

After about 2 weeks of this, I came to realize a few things.

1. Tim wasn't actually "not ready" to learn or go to school, but in fact was already learning so much at home from us and the other members of our mission team. (As lay missionaries for our Catholic community, we are so blessed to have been able to be mostly work at home parents, since our mission office is also the mission house/residence).

2. Just because he was not enrolled in a "formal" school, it didn't mean that he was "lagging behind" his peers who were enrolled in playgroup or nursery. When it comes to the preschool years, there should be no pressure on both parents AND children about learning. Instead, kids should be encouraged to have fun, be exposed to reading books a lot (and read aloud to a lot), explore their motor skills and imagination, and most of all, BE ASSURED THAT THEY ARE LOVED AND SPECIAL. They each have their unique gifts, talents, and capabilities. After all, there are different kinds of intelligences and therefore different learning styles.

Therefore, just because Tim didn't seem to catch on to learning at the DEDC (though I must say, their teaching methods are quite okay, compared to a lot of other schools here in Timor Leste.), I didn't and still don't have any reason to worry. Learning can take place anytime, anywhere. As long as we are open and creative and spontaneous, we can make anytime "learning time."

3. Homeschooling, or to be more specific, homepreschooling, need not be so formal after all. However, it does need a lot of patience, planning, perseverance and FAITH. :) Some things that I am still working on.

Up to the time of this writing, Tim still says that our home is his school, and that I am his "Teacher Mama." He's also added "Teacher Papa" and "Teacher Kaka" to his list of teachers. So far, he's able to do the following (I've only listed the top 15 things that I can recall right now):

1. Identify the numbers 1 to 20. He can also count aloud 1 to 20.

2. Identify all the letters of the alphabet, capital and lower case. He also knows some of the beginning letter sounds (like B as in ball, F for fish, etc)

3. Identify the all the primary and secondary colors, plus black, white, grey. He can also say if a color is "light" or "dark." He learned this from "My Big Bear Book".

4. Say what the opposite of some basic concepts/words are. He learned this through a simple game we play, and by playing with "opposite puzzles" - more on this in another post. :) So he knows words like: hot/cold, young/old, tall/short, thin/fat, etc, and what they mean.

5. Complete puzzles of 10 pieces with minimum (if any at all) supervision :)

6. Sing lots and lots of songs (a wide selection of nursery rhymes and children's songs, kids' Bible songs and our community's worship songs *in English and Tetun, and a few secular pop songs [NOT taught by me *sighs*] Not to mention some songs he recently learned by watching TV at his grandparents' house during our vacation in the Philippines, including our Presidential candidates' jingles! I think my Kuya Tim is a gifted auditory learner, he can remember lines of a song that he's heard only once or twice!) He can also make up his own lyrics and sing them with a tune that he's already familiar with!!! (Future singer/songwriter in the making??!!!)

7. Pretend to "read" and can remember the storyline of each of his 30 or so books (!!!) PRAISE GOD for generous family and friends and secondhand books!

8. Pack away his things when prompted (though sometimes has to be "pushed") to do so :)

9. Help out with some chores like fold his blanket, sweep the floor, put away the dishes, wash the dishes (though he ends up playing with the water lots of times!), mop the floor. He is often pleased to help out when asked to do so.

10. Follow simple directions - helps Mama "deliver" documents to Papa when needed (Papa's office is located near the living room, while Mama works in the bedroom), etc etc.

11. Tell the difference between living and non living things

12. Understand the concept of "metamorphosis" i.e. tadpole-frog, caterpillar-butterfly

13. Share and take turns (and often reminds other kids to do the same) - though this is still a skill he needs to work on :)

14. Help take care of his baby sister (watches her for Mama when asked to do so, plays with her, gives Mama her diaper and other things when asked, etc)

15. PRAY. :) On his own and with the family. He can say the Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be, Angel of God prayer already. :) (Though some parts may be unintelligible to people unfamiliar with his speaking manner :)

(Right now, I'm still wracking my brain for other "skills" Tim's acquired, teehee. More on this later. However, I am thankful to God and proud to say that Tim is capable of the Three S's: Self-Care, Sitting Still, and Sharing. These were wonderfully described in a good article I believe every parent of any preschooler should read - click here to read it :) I continue to thank GOD for all that Tim is able to do, and we as parents shouldn't be pressured nor pressure our kids at this age to know lots of things. A gentle reminder below:

"You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play, and run around all day long? Never in his life will he be so busy again. ~Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Emile, 1762"

Let your kids be kids. :) Fill up their days with praytime and playtime, laughter and learning! Click here for suggested activities for 3 year olds :) The homepage also has activities for babies and toddlers up to 2 years :)

Anyway, the point of this long-winded (and THANK YOU for reading up to this part!) post is:

Any parent can teach their kids. You DON'T need an Education degree. All you need is COMMITMENT, TIME and LOVE. Everything else will follow. This does not strictly apply to stay at home or work at home parents. Even if you're working fulltime outside the home, YOU CAN DO IT. :)

Watch out for my next post so you can get a few tips on how YOU can actually be TEACHER MAMA (or PAPA ;)) to your kid.

Here's to parents everywhere, the original homepreschoolers! :)

Learning moments outside the classroom - INQUIRER.net, Philippine News for Filipinos

2010-04-11T09:17:00.000-07:00

For all Catholic Filipino parents everywhere :)

Catholic homeschooling is becoming THE trend to watch out for! And it's not just because it saves families money. Read the article below to know more about how YOU can jump on the bandwagon! (Don't be afraid to JUMP, just do so in FAITH! :)

Learning moments outside the classroom - INQUIRER.net, Philippine News for Filipinos

Blessings, blessings and more blessings for us all, especially those who are in dire need of it! ;)

Catholic Homeschooling - Strengthening The Future of The Catholic Church

2010-04-11T08:56:00.000-07:00

Catholic Home Schooling Teaches Children the Core Values of the Catholic Faith
(Mike Jerry)

Introduction

Catholic home schooling provides children with a strong basis of Catholic values. Catholic homeschooled children are taught the Ten Commandments, a history of the church, the seven sacraments, and about the life of Christ. The homeschooling curriculum allows for flexibility in that the student can have one-on-one discussions with the teacher instead of competing with other students for help. The Catholic schooling advantage is that the children are safe to learn about their religion, without fearing for their safety. The values the children learn will serve to make them productive adults, firmly grounded in their faith.

Although Catholic home schooling is a relatively new trend, it is warmly welcomed by strict Catholic families. A Catholic home schooling will provide children a firm educational foundation anchored in the Catholic faith and doctrines.

With Catholic home schooling, parents are assured the child will learn the basic tenets of the Catholic faith, so they can live a balanced spiritual life; this is because Catholic home schooled students are taught the history of the 2,000-year-old Roman Catholic faith and the culture, 10 Commandments, the life of Jesus, the saints, and the seven sacraments.

The Six Benefits That Catholic Home Schooling Provides Students

A Catholic home schooling program frees children from the problems present in the public school system: an overcrowded educational system, which is known for producing graduates who are bored with their subjects, apathetic and tired of learning from outdated textbooks.

A Catholic home schooling program minimizes the chances for children to be in danger. These dangers such as drug use, bullying and student violence, are a real menace in traditional schools.

Catholic home schooling provides Catholic children of different learning abilities from fast learners to those with special needs, an education that is at a pace consistent with their learning capabilities.

A Catholic home schooling program provides home schooled students a healthy learning environment; one where they can freely express their opinions, exchange views with the teacher, without worrying that their grades will suffer. They will enjoy the learning process because they do not need to worry about punishment.

A Catholic home schooling program by necessity and structure has a limit on the number of students allowed in each class. The ratio of one teacher to one student provides the optimum learning environment for the child to get the needed attention.

A Catholic home schooling curriculum can be easily customized to teach the children non-academic subjects, which students in the traditional classroom setting have limited access to. For this reason, many home schooling parents have created complementary activities like assignments, board work, field trips or on the job training stints, to impart knowledge in innovative ways.

In short, when parents opt to provide their children with a Catholic home schooling, they offer their children the ability to learn as they grow in their Catholic faith. These values and knowledge, when nurtured, will strengthen the Catholic home schooled child; giving the child resolve should adversity, disaster, or misfortune strike.

You can read the original article here: http://www.yourhomeschoolingresource.com/Catholic-Home-Schooling-Teaches-Children-The-Core-Values-Of-The-Catholic-Fa.html

Top 20 Advantages to Homeschooling

2010-04-10T10:50:00.000-07:00

20. Your kids never tell you that you’re a lot dumber than their teacher.

19. If you can’t find matching socks for your child first thing in the morning, who cares?

18. Cleaning out the refrigerator can double as chemistry lab.

17. Your kids have good reason to think they might get spanked in school, but no reason to think they’ll get beat up by a gang.

16. If the principal gives the teacher a bad evaluation, she can stick her icy feet against his legs at night.

15. You can post the Ten Commandments on your school room wall and won’t get sued.

14. You never have to drive your child’s forgotten lunch to school.

13.Your child will never go to their 20th high school reunion, meet an old flame, and recklessly abandon their marriage.

12. You get to change more than diapers, you get to change their minds.

11. If you get caught talking to yourself, you can claim you’re having a PTA meeting.

10. It’s better to be slightly concerned about socialization than very concerned about socialism.

9. Your child will never suffer the embarrassment of group showers after PE.

8. The only debate about the school lunch program is whose turn it is to cook.

7. You never have to face the dilemma of whether to take your child’s side or the teacher’s side in a dispute at school.

6. If your child gets drugs at school, it’s probably Tylenol.

5. The teacher gets to kiss the principal in the faculty lounge and no one gossips.

4. Your kids recognize that this list is numerically in reverse order.

3. Your honor student can actually read the bumper sticker that you have on your car.

2. If your child claims that the dog ate his homework, you can ask the dog.

1. Some day your children will consider you to be a miracle working expert and will turn to you for advice.

(taken from http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/index.htm)